#he could've gotten the next best thing for a big sister

[pooks]

If someone were to ask Percy what his mental picture of a big sister figure was, he would answer with one name.

Cassidy Mercury.

He didn't meet her officially until he was in his second year, when Bill and Charlie introduced him to their friend. She was a new prefect, like Charlie, and she was probably the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

Her hair was styled in a short haircut with parted bangs and golden like sunshine. The eyes were green as ripe pears and her skin was fair, decorated with a calm yet reassuring smile.

There was just something about her that kept his nerves calm, as if she was telling him "everything will be alright because I am here" in a non-verbal way. And the first thing she had said when he told his name and his life ambitions in one go was...

"Sounds like you have your whole life planned out."

No teasing or mocking, like his brothers tended to do. No laughing at his extremely high standards of a successful life. No, she listened and respected him. That was the first thing that won him over.

Secondly, she proved to be an excellent and talented student. Cassidy was really good at academics and as he later found out, one of the best Chasers on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

He had originally come to see Charlie, and his dorm mate Oliver Wood, play on the first Quidditch match of the year. He had already known that Charlie was a great Seeker and Oliver was a raw talent as a Keeper, but Cassidy...

She was magnificent in the air, flying on her Comet and stealing the Quaffle with ease, evading her opponents like how a fly avoids being hit by a slipper and making goals with a strong left arm. And how the stands filled with Gryffindors screamed in loud cheers for her.

Charlie may be the Quidditch Captain, but Cassidy Mercury was their star! Even when Oliver was down, getting hit in the head by a Bludger (and nearly gave him a heart attack!), Cassidy became their savior by making so many goals and with Charlie catching the Snitch, earning them 150 points more...they had saved the match.

It has been a long time since Percy believed in heroes. Yes, he knew there were war heroes from the War, but he didn't know them and in his simple opinion, heroes was something that belonged in fairy tales or fictional stories.

But when the school was in danger by the Cursed Vaults...when students and even school staff were being attack by these curses...when Rakepick proved to be a Dark witch and especially, when his life was at mortal danger...

Cassidy Mercury was there to save the day.

She was his hero.

[dmercer91]

same old, same old | charred wings au, qh43

in which matthew was right. (1.7k)

heeyyyyyyyy. welcome to the angst filled pit in my brain that is the charred wings au!! love u guys

it would've been weird for quinn to mention, or even allude to robin, during his acceptance speech for the norris. she knew that, and truly was not expecting any sort of appreciation.

so, she really had no idea why it stung so much when her role in his life wasn't brought up while he was thanking all the people closest to him.

what would he have even said? thank you, to my fuck buddy robin, who routinely cheats on her boyfriend with me! couldn't have done it without her.

she told herself that matthew had gotten into her head- that she felt linked to quinn's winning of the norris due to the conversation between her and her brother a few days prior. and though that wasn't true, she was gonna leave it at that.

she waited until the next award was being announced to stand up and leave for a smoke, mumbling about her plans to her brothers and sister and making her way out onto the porch.

her phone started ringing just in time for her to light her cigarette. she furrowed her brow gently, pulling it out of her pocket and watching as the screen lit up with quinn's name and the contact photo she hadn't bothered to change since they were sixteen.

no matter how badly she wanted to let it ring- she couldn't bring herself to turn the phone off.

she pressed it to her ear and exhaled a 'hey' along with the smoke of her fix

"smokin' again?" was the first thing he said, a smirk evident in his tone.

"never stopped. you call to quiz me?" she asked, taking a hint of an attitude with him. she'd rather seem annoyed than eager, she told herself.

"hm. called to ask if you're watchin' the awards" he clarified, and she could hear rustling in the background, figuring he was off to somewhere more private

"yeah. tell lukey m' proud of him for placing top three" she chided, and quinn could hardly hide his scoff.

the sound made a smile creep up on robin's face as she smooshed her cigarette into the stairs of the porch. she stayed outside, though. knowing she was gonna try her best to keep this conversation a secret from matt.

"not proud of me?" he fished, and she blinked. he didn't usually correct her when she would take this kind of route to get out of complimenting him.

usually, he'd stay irritated, knowing it was her way of pretending she didn't want anything to do with him.

she wasn't particularly fond of the change.

"thought you said you didn't call to quiz me. if you're tryna get off i suggest you wait until you aren't at an extremely public eve-"

"robin," he interrupted, sighing over the phone. he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and shook his head at himself

he should've known she wasn't gonna take it seriously.

"i can't just want to call you?" he asked, sincerity dripping from his words and hurt hardly masked by it. she responded with silence, thinking of what she could possibly say to him

after a moment, she decided she was going to test the waters.

"why did you really call, quinn?" she murmured, whisper quiet. the churning in her stomach almost had her lighting another cigarette.

he sighed, running his hands through his hair and letting his head thud on the wall behind him. "it's kind of a big deal, robbie. winning something like this"

".. and?" she bit her lip, running the charm on her necklace back and forth across the chain.

"and you're important to me." he said, with full conviction, like his words weren't going to jab her in the heart. and he paused, picked back up again

"if i could've thanked you in that speech i would've, baby. before anyone"

"don't call me that," she stated, quietly and shakily.

"i don't want to argue, robin, that's not what i'm doing here," he tried, frustration evident in his voice.

"then what the hell are you doing? what am i supposed to say to that? 'you're fucking welcome'?" she said, starting to raise her voice a little, hurt and confusion getting the best of her

"jesus christ, you don't need to say anything, robbie, i wasn't expecting you to say anything. but you could at least not bite my head off when i'm trying to be genuine,"

tears pooled robin's eyes, and the only think she could think to do was keep biting back, keep hiding behind the wall of bullshit she'd been building

"okay, well, you called me out of nowhere to tell me that you wanted to thank me in your acceptance speech and that i'm important to you and i don't really know how to react to that, quinn, so i'm sorry for not just absorbing it and going on about my life pretending it's not weird"

quinn laughed. the sound coming through the phone and immediately causing a pang in robin's chest, for the tears welled in her waterline to start spilling down her face quietly

"we spent the last year living together, and it's weird to you that i care about you? that i want to call you when i hit milestones and that i'm not just being a fucking coward about the way i feel for you?"

he figured he wen't a little too far when he heard her sniffles through the line.

"fuck you, quinn." she breathed out, still trying her best to cover how stuffed up she sounded and how hoarse her voice was getting, the tremor vibrating throughout her body

"robbie, baby, that's not how i meant it-" he breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling his stomach drop at the sound of her shaking breaths

"fuck off, it's different for me. and i know that you really couldn't care less, because you refuse to acknowledge him, but i'm not ready to pretend he doesn't exist" she whispered, everything she was trying so hard to hide coming through the phone despite her efforts, and effectively rendering quinn speechless.

eventually, he found his voice "you can do so much better than him. it doesn't mean forgetting he exists, though, robbie,"

"yeah, okay. if you're trying to prove that point you're doing a really shit job," she wiped her nose, trying to calm herself down and cursing herself for finding that comfort in the hum of his voice

"bullshit, robin. brady's even saying he hasn't seen you as happy as you are in van since the ntdp days. s' all i want, is for you to be happy" he tried, smiling a little as she hummed

and neither of them really understood how it always seemed to go like this- an argument, started for no reason with no real fighting, ended in a matter of seconds with no resolution, no change. nothing ever changed.

they were still in love. she was still in denial. he was still going to try and fight his way out of a casual relationship. they were still going to come back to each other, if they ever left, and she was still going to hate herself for it.

from zero to a hundred, and right back down to zero with hardly any time to blink

"whatever we have, quinn. i need it to stay just.. what it is, for now. please? you need to let me go at my own pace" her words meant nothing by the time they hit his ears, because no matter how he responded, he wouldn't stop trying to prove she loved him back

"as long as you're still mine in vancouver, i think i can deal with the offseason" no, he couldn't

"don't think i could keep away if i tried," and with that, was finally some semblance of the truth. quinn grinned to himself, nearly from ear to ear and his heart swelled in his chest

"good. n' hey, get some sleep tonight, robbie. been a long couple days for you, i'll bet" she bit her lip, nodding in agreement despite the faceless aspect of their conversation

"g'night, quinny" she whispered, finally dropping the necklace pendant she’d still had kept between her fingers

"goodnight, baby," and there was the nickname again- going without argument, despite the boundary she'd set merely five minutes ago. they would never change and they didn't want to.

and as the sound of robin's phone signalled that the call was ended, she held it to her chest, and tears began rolling again.

she hardly had a moment to herself before the front door opened and caught her attention

it was matt, giving her a knowing look as he sat down next to her and took a cigarette from her pack, lighting it and taking a drag, giving it to her.

"quinn called?" and she just gave him a look, contemplating keeping the cigarette to herself out of spite.

"figured when your smoke break took fifteen minutes" he joked, smirking down at her

"you're a dick" she mumbled, handing him the cigarette and leaning her head on his shoulder

"you're crying.” he stated in retaliation, “went bad?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, putting an arm around her

"it went like it always does." she sighed, shaking her head as he tried to hand the fix back to her, watching as he put it out.

"except this time i bitched cause he told me he cared about me, after i fully set him up to say it, so, there's that" she rolled her eyes at herself, leaning further into her brother

"take your time, kid. but i think you know where you want this to go and i think you've gotta start working with that," he said, his calm demeanour doing well to put robin a little more at ease

"i know, matty. i'm just scared." she whispered, looking up at him with a look he'd never wanted to see on her face

"i get it. i'm here though, and brae, n' taryn. you know that," he pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she wiped a new string of tears from her face.

she nodded, sniffling "i love you, big brother"

"love you too, little sister,"

[ultrainfinitepit]

🫂 & 🧠 for Sam :)?

I'll use my other protagonist Mick as the second character for these prompts :))

🫂- How has your relationship changed recently?

While they will always get on each other's nerves, they secretly care about each other and want (what they think) is the best for each other.

Sam will always some resentment for how Mick treated him in the past, and he hates being told what to do by Mick. But Mick has proven he's changed, he understands Sam's motivations now, and has helped Sam a lot recently - so Sam can't be too mad at him. There's part of him that wishes they could've gotten along from the beginning. Sam considers Mick a brother-in-arms and his friend, he loves him like family - and with not too much prodding would admit it. It sends chills down his spine to say it out loud though.

Mick however will only ever admit similar sentiments to make Sam look ungrateful, even if it's truly what he feels, in fact what he's felt for a while. In the past he was cavalier about Sam's lives and deaths, but is now much more protective of him. He regrets a lot of his poor treatment of Sam but feels there's no way to fix it and they can only move forward.

🧠- What’s your best memory with them? Worst?

Mick's worst memory with Sam: When Sam's adoptive nephilim sister Lucifer began to corrupt the angels, Mick was forced to stop her. And Lucy's most ardent guard was her brother Sam. Not only did Mick have to put down Lucy, who was just a child, but Sam as well - who was not much older and had been twisted by Lucy's magic into a horrifying monster. While Mick killed them both, he could hear Sam's song in his mind: an anguished, confused screeching, pleading with Mick not to do this - they both loved Lucy so much. That horrible death song would echo for lifetimes after in Mick's mind.

Mick's best memory with Sam: Sometime after the rather traumatic birth of Mick's daughter, Sam visits with an offering of beer. He pulls Mick aside and the two of them sit in the fire escape, smoking and drinking, while Sam recalls various stories of his own babies. Mick had been so caught up in trying to take care of Talia and Vivian and having no clue what he was doing, he didn't have time to think about what might happen next, that they all might even make it through this. But hearing Sam's stories of his own mishaps and how he and Zipporah made it through them, made Mick think it might actually be possible. And it was the first time in many weeks that Mick had been able to just breathe, and even laugh! In that moment he saw Sam had really grown up, and was very proud of him, and grateful for his company.

Sam's worst memory with Mick: I could write about one of Sam's many deaths by Mick's hands here - or perhaps the agonizing wait outside Theo's study while Mick and Zipporah met and spoke for the first time, Sam wondering if it would turn into a fight for their lives. I could even write about Lucy's death. But instead I will write about a memory that in the grand scheme of things is not so bad, but has stuck with Sam the longest as one of his worst moments.

In the few years they lived together, Mick started getting into a new hobby involving building little miniature models. Sam thought it was kind of silly but didn't care much what Mick did as a hobby, so long as they stayed out of each other's way. One day for some stupid reason he can't remember anymore, Sam was mad at Mick and in a careless mood, and wrecked Mick's little table where he kept his models and supplies. Sam felt a bit bad about it immediately but, Mick had never cared about "human stuff" before so surely this wouldn't be a big deal.

However it was. Mick blew up at Sam, way more than in any previous incident in this lifetime. Mick yelled that he barely had anything for himself and what little he did have, Sam just ruined. Sam could have sworn tears were in his eyes, he had never seen Mick so upset, he didn't even know he could cry. Then abruptly, Mick stopped. He was calm as he shoved all his supplies into the trash. Sam felt horrible, he still feels horrible when he remembers that. He didn't think to apologize at the time and now feels it's too late to bring it up. He realized that those models were more than just models to Mick, they were an expression of what little free will, wonder, emotion, humanity he had. And Sam watched Mick throw that all away because of him.

Sam's best memory with Mick: Again I could choose any number of poignant and significant memories for this, but instead I'll choose a sillier one that Sam likes to remember.

In the few years before they lived together, Sam and Mick engaged in various adventures out west. One day they found a "renowned monster hunter" who even made big claims about having trophy wings from hunted angels in his collection (fake but even still, just the insinuation rubbed Sam and Mick the wrong way).

After being restrained in their dealings with this hunter for far too long, Sam chomping at the bit to beat him up all the while, Mick finally snapped too and even held the hunter while Sam got to punch him. In that moment they were perfectly on the same wavelength. Mick even admitted that Sam was right about hating the guy from the start! It makes Sam satisfied to think about even now.

[some-pers0n]

Oh boy do I have my *hot* take(s) :)

Sunny should've gotten (better) princess treatment

Nightwings should've allied with the Icewings and then betrayed them in the climax of the war(when one or two of the sisters keel)

Glory should've been more fiery like Tsunami and not played into the 'lazy rainwing' troupe, and shouldn't have had her heritage discovered the way it was/if at all

Morrowseer was (mostly) right to act the way he did

Darkstalker shouldn't have been so *teehee nobody knows I'm evil except for one convenient dragon*

Sending the *Icewing* Talons of Peace member for a skywing egg was actually the worst decision(from the prologue in book 1 iirc)

Scavengers should've pulled off another big stunt in the first/second arc, maybe not killing a queen, but somebody important and framing it on a dragon to ignite the post-/war

Starflight should've been a hybrid (preferably 1/4 or 1/2 icewing for *drama*)

Blister is the coolest but worst sister and deserved to suffer more losses(maybe having someone close to her die)(if she could've had actual friends to begin with)

More sandwings should've become outraged at Thorn (particularly Burn followers)(bc they're already kinda kookoo)

Kestrel should've lived longer even though her end was a badass plot twist

Ruby's story was so foolish, no one could possibly be that ditzy except maybe Blaze

Dream visitors (dreams) should've been more chaotic and been harder to reach the dragons conscious

Dream visitors should've failed at least once in a daze of forgetting dreams or "nah that's not real" but sparking paranoia in those trying to forget, so much that it leads them to foil someone's plans, (like scarlet and the assassin stuff)(it fails anyway "but I didn't believe it to begin with" ...)

Corals sons should've absolutely despised her and helped the DoD

A dragon should've escaped Scarlets towering prisons and rebelled with a few skywing traitors and failed; to raise tensions and lower the others hopes, to make the DoDs escape more fulfilling (cause the nightwings robbing starflight for the night was too anticlimactic)(also some skywing guard[or crazed prisoner like gills but not him] should've tried to fight the nightwings)

Webs should've died over Dunes

Masterminds whole jig was kinda based (expiramenting bad and all yeah but it was done really well)(like the telling of it all not like he did the expiraments well)

Battle winners daughter is super lame, there should've been an attempted assassination on her as revenge for something either Battlewinner did or bc some nightwing just didn't like her)

Grandeur should've been really into cooking or just big fancy ass feasts

Moorhen should've had a big tragic background or beef with Glacier( or both, having Moorhens best closest family/friend murked by the icewings and she doesn't know why)

Coral should've been more clingy to Tsunami

The false DoD shouldn't have been so lively as if they weren't treated like the second option their whole lives

Tear me to pieces. I actually wanna see how bad they are, I'm sure I've also got more lying around, though I should probably reread the books I have so I can both find more wack takes, adjust my headcanons & smthn else I forgot as I was about to write just now

[I've basically only read the first 10ish and only own like 12 books, I was waiting to get the last 3 before reading the next arc]

Hoping I got these right as *takes* and not like theorizing or smthn

Also so sorry omg this is so long

Oh boy time to Read Alla Dat.

Oh I love NightWing/IceWing drama. That's a cool idea

Morrowseer is a cool villain and he doesn't get the attention he deserves. I love him so much. He's one of, if not the best villain in the series.

Absolutely genius move. Now Hvitur's dead. Thanks Nautilus.

The thing with scavengers to me is that they aren't inherently a bad idea. I actually think it's pretty cool to have humans be seen as a pest of sorts by these intelligent dragons. I would've loved if scavengers were more involved, albeit not in a "We are living creatures too and deserve to not be eaten-" shut up you walking strip of beef jerky and let me chew on your bones.

OhohOHOHOHOhh!! I like that idea! Hybrid Starflight's cool..

Blister was literally the Worst queen by far. I literally cannot imagine anybody making a good argument for her at all.

Imagine a gang leader becoming the queen after a 20 year war lmao. I'd be pissed to all hell.

I'm Diseased over the word "foolish" here. I'm in love. I can't think of any other way to describe her now. Ruby is just a foolish creature.

GOD I WISH DREAM VISITORS WERE COOL LIKE THAT!! GRAHHHHH I WANNA WRITE ABOUT THEM NOW!! I love the idea of dreams and playing around with them. I love the idea of a character seeing somebody who's trying to tell them: "Hey I'm the real person and you're in a dream" and going: "Uh-huh yeah right buddy". My dreams are kinda wacky and I think it would be fun to take inspiration from the particularly labyrinth-like places I sometimes get thrown into, with corridors that lead into other places past and Dream Logic comes into play. Dreams are so cool man...

Regional Webs hater here. Hard agree. I love Dune. Dune is the Guy of all time and I love him with all my heart. Webs deserves to never have his name be uttered ever.

Mastermind IS silly in my mind. I need to have at least one chaotic sciencey type who is perfectly willing to experiment on people. Mastermind is just that. What a guy. I wish he wasn't trapped in the Pit for all of time though.

Greatness is such wasted potential it hurts oh my god.

Grandeur grows pot.

Ohhhhhhh OOOHhHHhhHH I love that idea,,,

Literally if I was in Fatespeaker's position I too would be hopeless and miserable. I think she's just coping with it in a certain way that I can't really comprehend.

[erensrag]

the one -

armin x yn (wc: 12720)

warnings: nsfw/smut, yandere armin, obsession, mentions of stalking, manipulation, toxic relationship, armin being a creep in love basically. summary makes it seem like he kidnaps reader lmao he doesn’t

summary: having seen enough of you managing without him, armin decides to finally take matters into his own hands and make you his.

armin doesn't understand.

he thought he planned everything out perfectly. he gave you your space, hasn’t given anyone the slightest suggestion of his feelings for you—at least the people you both know. he wanted you to come to him willingly, no persuasion or sweet talks.

he did everything perfectly. he's the perfect student, always has been. has gotten straight a's since the moment he entered his first grade, received a full scholarship to some college he could care less about instead of his dream one because that's the one you chose, even helped you with your college admission letters. he's well off, could've—could take care of you your entire life. he's loved by everyone on campus and even in high school, he was the apple of everyone's eye.

you knew how perfect he was back then and how he's thriving right now so how the hell...of all people why him? he clenches the beer can in his hand, watching you stumble up the stairs with none other than his best friend.

this isn't like the other boys you've dated. he can't just threaten or throw cash at him until he realizes you'll always belong to armin and leave you alone. eren doesn't listen to anyone and even if he did try any threats, it'd just ruin the nice guy reputation he’d had spent years building up.

he throws the can onto the sofa, immediately trailing after you two before he can stop himself. he thought spending the summer in everyone’s home town would've just brought them closer—specifically brought you and him closer, that was the plan after all. not you and eren. you two have barely spoken three words to each other your entire lives.

it doesn't make sense.

he thought he knew everything about you. he had organized every single detail regarding you in sections and tucked the pictures in that little box that's been tucked under his dorm bed for years. maybe he gave too much space? college was undoubtedly stressful, he must've become too busy with his studies to look over you. to make sure you made the right decisions and weren't tainted by the hands of everyone around you.

he had screwed up.

but he intends to make it right. to put you back on the right track, the one you're supposed to be on. the one that leads you straight to him.

he found the two of you in some random bedroom, disgust immediately taking over him at the sight. is this who you were now? a few months of not talking to one another and you were already ruining your life by letting yourself get fucked by eren of all people in a bedroom you didn't even know the owner of?

his nails dig into his palms as he watches through the creek in the door, you guys didn't even bother to close it all the way. as if you wanted an audience. eren was already slamming into you, like you were nothing more than a toy dying to be used and defiled. like a whore. is that who you are now y/n? a whore? the more he stares, the more it seems like it. you’re on your stomach, hands clenching the sheets and head thrown back in pleasure.

the pace of his thrusts has you letting out high pitched moans, a bit of saliva sliding down your chin. "e—eren." you cry out and armin would've walked in there and punched the daylights out of his own best friend because no one deserves to hear you calling their name out like that except for him. it's unfair. so unfair he could fucking die out of fury right now. but he didn't. he stood there, frozen because hitting his best friend—anyone is out of character for him.

it would've raised eyebrows and questions he doesn't want to answer. but still...the way eren snaps his cock in you sloppily, the slap of skin against skin filling the room makes him bite down on his tongue to the point of blood. the anger is consuming him and he's not sure he can watch this torture any longer.

"y—you're—n—ngh so big, eren." you moan like a bitch in heat, tongue almost lolling out as eren grabs your hair, pulling your head back even more so he can plant a disgusting kiss on your lips.

at least you're still dressed, outfit clinging to your sweaty body. at least he doesn't get to see anything too valuable. at least armin still has that for himself. it's when eren grips your clothed breast that he decides enough is enough, he's ready to open the door and storm in the room but a hand is quickly grabbing his forearm.

he freezes, has someone been watching him? did they see anything? fuck, are they going to think he's some huge pervert? judging by his actions tonight, maybe he is. he slowly turns around, closing the door in front of him before the person can ask any questions.

it's historia. her pupils are dilated as she leans onto armin's arm. the booming sound of the music from downstairs drowns out whatever she's slurring out right now but armin pretty's sure he has a gist of it. "let's get you home." he sighs, placing his hand on her shoulder.

she shakes her head, "we—gotta...find y/n." she says a bit louder, clenching her eyes shut before opening them again. "my head hurts." she whines.

"that's what happens when you decide to act like a damn delinquent." he mutters bitterly more to himself, it's not like she'll remember any of this tomorrow. "now let's go home before mom kills us."

"but—y/n. we came with her, we can't just...just..." she clenches the front of his shirt before letting out a choked gag.

armin huffs, almost throwing her off before she ruins his clothes but even as annoying as she is, leaving his sister in a place like this isn't such a good idea. especially for his reputation. he would take y/n with him as well but it seems she's too preoccupied. too tainted to think straight.

but like he said, he'll make sure to fix that. he has two months to get everything back to the way they were. and maybe even a little better.

he's waited years for your friendship with him to blossom into something more but it seems nothing will happen without him egging a few things on first.

he spends the entire night tossing and turning, nightmares of the party before repeating in his head over and over again.

if it was anything else, he thinks he would've been able to let it go after taking a few precautions. but this isn't anything else. this is big and it only spirals the blotchy jealously he's tried hard to keep under wraps over the years, threatening to invade his thoughts with vile images.

he's awake long enough to hear the front door opening at three in the morning. immediately getting up and walking towards his slightly open door, knowing it's you. historia and his mother are sound asleep and besides his father who's rarely home due to work, you're the only one left with a key.

he made sure to pressure historia into getting you one as soon as possible the second he found out you were spending the summer with them. groaning fills the silence of the house followed by you stumbling up the stairs. he expects to hear you go into the guest room you're staying in or historia's bedroom but the bathroom door opens instead.

a few minutes passes before he hears you groaning again, this time louder and his feet inch towards the hallway, wanting nothing more than to go to you. but then that angry feeling rises again and an acidic taste resides on his tongue. he doesn't want to be angry at you, he's never been angry at you. he should be furious with eren only. the way he took advantage of your kindness and obliviousness isn't right. if you were sober, you never would've gone for him.

he sighs heavily, walking towards the bathroom door. you're slouched over the toilet, gagging into it and he races over. the concern is etched on his face as his hand rests on your back, startling you. you turn your head, movements sluggish. "armin?"

he didn't even have the decency to walk you inside? make sure you got into bed properly? fucking asshole.

"you okay?" he asks. it's the most you two have spoken to each other all summer.

"y-yeah." you wipe your lips. "sleepy." you murmur.

he gets up, putting his arm around your waist as he helps you stand. "rinse your mouth." he mutters and you obey, going to the sink to put some water in your mouth and spitting it out. "let's get you to bed."

you two stumble out of the bathroom, he makes sure to keep his hands around your waist. his chest constricting with want as he gets to feel you, it's been ages since you two have touched each other. he eyes your bedroom door, that's where he originally wanted to take you but he can't help but think back to that party. at how eren got to experience everything he wasn't able to. then he sees the bruises on your neck, he grits his teeth so hard he's sure they're going to chip any second.

no. he deserves this little thing. it's not like he's going to do anything inappropriate, he's not like that jackass who decided he deserved to touch you like that. he just wants to be near you. it's been awhile, too long. and it's not like you two haven't slept in the same bed before.

that's what he tells himself as he guides the both of you towards his own bedroom, slowly placing you on the bedsheets to which you immediately snuggle into. he eyes flicker towards the closet door, contemplating whether to take out a random t-shirt and place you in it but you'd just be waking up with questions he wouldn't be able to answer. the armin everyone knows can't even look at a girl without blushing, let alone undress her.

so he opts for just laying down besides you on the sheets, he can explain this if you wake up confused. that you just drunkly stumbled in his room and laid down next to him. he turns his head, captivated by every rise and fall of your chest. your eyelashes fluttering as you snuggle deeper into the pillow, letting out incoherent whimpers.

his fingers slowly trace your cheek, chest burning badly with want. all he wants to do is touch, touch, touch. you just look so beautiful, so serene. and he can't help brush a thumb over your bottom lip. the same lips that were moaning out eren's just a few hours ago. that dark feeling is back and he can't help but press his finger down on your lip harshly, you let out a tiny whine but keep your eyes closed, too sleepy to really comprehend what's going on.

what's so special about him? he doesn't get it. eren's a meathead. he isn't fit to take care of you, to cater to your every need and make sure you never have to want for anything. to be ready to do whatever is necessary to keep you happy, even if it means hurting those you don't realize are harming you.

he leans forward, lips ghosting over yours but never touching. no, he wants you to be awake and alert for when your lips finally meet. so you can see no one else in this world but him deserves you. but fuck, he wants to kiss you. your lips look so soft, so addicting, like they were made for him. and they were. every inch of your body was created for him just like his was for you.

he needs to make this right, make you see what was standing in front of you all long. he could punch himself for not realizing he needed to act on this sooner.

but he will now. he'll make sure to fix everything.

armin wakes up before you, not wanting to be in the room when you finally snapped out of your slumber. fortunately, you don't stay asleep too long, waking up only thirty minutes after.

he's already made breakfast by then, blueberry pancakes just the way you like them. you step into the kitchen and he almost drops the glass of orange juice he's holding. you're dressed in his oversized hoodie with some shorts, it practically engulfs your frame as you awkwardly sit on a stool.

you're wearing his clothes.

his clothes are touching your skin right now. making contact with your chest, stomach and breasts. he gulps, placing the glass down. "m-morning."

"morning..." you trail off, slowly drumming your fingers on the counter. "pancakes?"

he quickly pushes a plate towards you, he shamelessly designed it like it held a five course meal instead of simple pancakes but you seem to appreciate it as you gasp. "this looks amazing."

"did you sleep well?" he deliberately asks that question just to see you squirm.

you tense up, picking up the fork as you jab the pancakes. "yeah...uh sorry i was in your room and...bed. must've stumbled in there last night."

"it's fine." he smiles. "i slept on the couch, no worries." the lie flows out as if he didn't spend the last few hours cuddling you like you were going to run away any second.

"oh."

"what?"

"nothing." you shake your head, chewing.

"no really, what?" he presses, leaning on the counter towards you.

"well...i mean i wouldn't have a trouble if you slept in the same bed, it's not like we haven't done it before."

"that was a long time ago." he says but the fact you remembered fills him up with glee. so your mind hasn't been completely infiltrated with his so called best friend, you still think of armin.

"yeah but we were really close before...you know. i'm sure—"

"before what?" he asks, forcing the confusion to appear on his face even though he knows exactly what you're talking about.

you fidget, "before you started to distance yourself." you sigh, perhaps growing a bit agitated under his intense gaze.

"hmm." he hums. "well, studies and all that, you know how it is. but i'm sure you found plenty of people to fill in that hole i left behind."

you raise an eyebrow, "well...i wouldn't—"

"did you miss me, though y/n?" he places his hand under his chin, staring at you. "you walked into my room like it was second nature, snuggled right into my bed like it was home. it was pretty cute."

you nibble on your bottom lip, "i'm sorry about that. gosh, that's so embarrassing."

"answer the question." he urges, tone being a little bit more stern then he intended.

your eyes widen for a moment, "yeah—uh i missed you. didn't you miss me?" you ask shyly.

a far contrast from the moans that were leaving your lips last night. "of course i missed you." he nods. "you, me and historia were such a tight nip group back then. but then college came around and things changed. we changed, didn't we?"

"yeah, i guess."

"you never used to go to parties before and now look at you, stumbling in at three am like some drunkard. makes me wonder what else you've been up to." he continues nonchalantly, plucking a berry into his mouth.

you lick your lips, hands clenching around the fork. a few seconds pass by before you let out a laugh meant to lighten the mood, "i almost forgot how intense you can be, geez lighten up armin. your stare is practically boring into me." you play with the sleeve of his hoodie, trying to hide your discomfort.

discomfort. he doesn't want you to feel that around him. he'll have to change that, make you see his behavior is only intended to help you. protect you from the evils in the world because you're simply too native to notice them. "and i didn't even wanna go to that party in the first place. i suggested star gazing but historia called it dumb."

"of course she did, her idea of a good time is getting so drunk she could faint." he rolls his eyes. "anyways. speaking of change, did you talk to eren last night?"

you almost choke on the pancake, quickly putting the fork down so you can grab the glass of water and gulp it down. "n-no! why would i speak to eren? i barely know the guy."

you've always been a bad liar—always overexaggerating everything.

"just wondering. i haven't been able to get a hold of him. mikasa wants to speak to him."

"mikasa? why?" that certainly piques your curiosity.

"well, they are best friends and he left campus without telling her where he was going apparently. she's at her hometown with her parents and is worried sick."

"can’t you be the messenger or something?”

he clicks his tongue, walking over and sitting next to you. "i'm not sure this message can be passed down through me." he smiles, making sure your thighs are touching.

"why not?" you ask timidly, as if afraid for his answer.

"well, i'm sure you know about how...special their relationship is. right before we left for break, eren told me he was planning on confessing his feelings for her when we got back and then she just texted me saying—"

"what?" your lips form into a frown, doe eyes filled with confusion. it's so cute. so naive and cute. "eren likes her?"

"of course he likes her silly, everyone knows those two are head over heels for each other. practically in a relationship already. it'll be so cute when we get back to campus and see them finally get together, don't you think so? their bond is truly something remarkable."

you stay silent, eyes staring down at your pancakes. do you actually like him? armin refrains from a scoff, how could you be so dumb to fall for someone like eren? "what's wrong? you look like you've seen a ghost."

"f-fine."

he nods, hand going to touch the syrup in the corner of your lips. you look surprised for a second as his tongue darts out to lick his finger. "we'll be spending two whole months in this house together." he changes the subject, having accomplished what he wanted to do. he doubts the eren situation is over yet but he has all the time to permanently destroy it. and he will.

"don't we think we should rekindle the friendship? it's gonna be awkward if we continue ignoring each other."

"you're the one who ignored me." you murmur.

"i wanna fix that, i'm sorry y/n. i'm sure we can go back to where we left off, hmm?"  he lean down so your faces are closer together, your eyes widening at that the movement. "would you like that?"

it looks like you're nodding before you can even register what he's saying. you've always been like that. so compliant. it used to be adorable but now all he can think about is how eren used that submissiveness and naivety to sink his claws into you. no one can be trusted around you. only armin.

"y—yeah." you smile, sullen mood from the news he just delivered temporarily gone. "i've missed you a lot."

"i've missed you too."

"what's this?" you ask as you walk into the living room a few hours later, granola bar in hand. still wearing his hoodie.

"a fort?"

"i can see it's a fort, but why?" you walk over to the sofa, plopping down on it.

"we used to make these all the time in high school, and since we're going to be friends again. don't you think—"

"so a fort?" you hum. "you usually hated when we made these, always calling it childish."

"well..." he steps towards the coffee table, picking up the miniature planetarium he stashed in his closet a few years ago. "you said you wanted to go stargazing so—"

"so you brought the stars to me?" your tone isn't mocking but you do chuckle a bit. "i don't know if that's sweet or just—"

"i think it's sweet." he grins, walking towards you. "so what do you think?" he gestures towards the fort. he didn't spent the last fifteen minutes moving furniture and gathering almost all pillows, sheets and cushions in the house for this for you to reject his offer. he needs to see you with that look in your eyes, looking at the stars with admiration. he misses it. the last sight in his mind is of you at that party, eyes gleamed over with lust and that hammered look. it plays over and over again and he's sick of it.

"sure." you beam, not waiting for him to make the first move as you crawl into the fort. the sanctuary he made for just the two of you.

he goes in after you, thighs touching yours as you sit next to each other. he made the insides small on purpose, just so he could feel you. he turns the projector on and you both watch as the speckles of light start to form on the sheets.

"whoa." you mutter to yourself, entrapped by the glowing of the luminescent blues and purples. "you really did all this for me?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip.

"wouldn't be the first time i went all out for you." he moves closer to you, breathing fanning on your face. "i'd do anything for you y/n, i thought you knew that already."

you're his. he should do whatever it takes to care of what's his.

you stare at him, a definite picture of of purity with those big mesmerizing eyes. your mouth gapes open trying to come up with a response but nothing comes out. armin watches a bead of sweat trail down your forehead, it's almost scorching in here. he knows it would've happen in this summer heat so he slowly picks up the mini electric. "hot?"

"w-what about you?" you ask, visibly swallowing a lump in your throat.

he hesitates. c'mon armin. just be a man. so he wraps his hand around your waist and you recoil in surprise as he brings you into his lap so the fan is on both of your bodies. you place your hand on his thighs, squirming to get into a comfortable position. "a-armin..." you laugh, it's awkward. you're trying to ease the tension but he doesn't want that, he just wants to be near you,  consequences be damned.

he's usually smarter than this. smarter than acting before he thinks but that night won’t stop haunting him so he smiles as he leans his chin on your shoulder. "what? am i making you uncomfortable?"

"w—well no but...it's just very sudden. you were acting as if i didn't exist just a few days ago and you're now—"

"i just wanted to touch you y/n. it's been years without your touch." he whispers, resisting the urge to nibble on your earlobe. "didn't you miss me? miss my touches?" he asks innocently, wrapping both his hands around your waist to pull you closer. your back is flushed against his chest, ass directly on his crotch and it takes a lot of will power not to get a hard on.

"i did." you nod eagerly. "of course i did."

"so let me treat you for all those times i missed."

"okay." you say, seemingly without thinking.

"wanna get some barbecue tomorrow ?"

"i have to meet my parents. y'know, getting yelled at for my major. the usual."

he frowns. "they're still mad about that? you should talk to them."

"you know they never listen to me." you squirm again on his lap but abruptly stops as you realize where exactly you're sitting. "it's fine, i barely talk to them anyways. i'm sure they'll finally get over it once i graduate."

he should comfort you, say something along the lines of they'll come around or don't worry but instead what comes out is none of those. "you don't need them." he rustles against you. "i'll always support you y/n. like i always have"

even if you weren't aware, he was mostly always in the shadows and making sure you got everything you wanted. "well, they are my parents."

"they've never cared enough to listen to you, to see you." his tone changes, voice low now as more sweat beads down his forehead. "none of them have, have they?"

"i—i...i'm sure—"

"historia doesn't see you? does she? she says she's your best friend but she treats you like a lackey y/n. isn't that infuriating?"

you scoff, "that's not true." you go to get off his lap but he tightens his hold on you. he just needs to say this.

"is that why she rejected your offer of stargazing? why she always made fun of your outfit choices back in high school? she was always jealous of you, don't you see that? you're better than that, better than all of them." every single one.

he wishes he could see your face but he settles for this, just for this simple touch. "i don't know what you want me to say to that, armin." you breath out.

"i want you to see your worth, y/n. you deserve better than all of this. don't you think so? you deserve the world." he can't help himself as he leans into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

you're not creeped out, or at least you're not attempting to get up anymore. "and what, you can give me that? is that what you're saying?"

he wasn't meant to have this type of conversation right now, it was just supposed to be a nice evening of laying down in this fort. but he saw an opportunity and why not take it?

"you know i can." he answers. "you know i'd do anything for you."

you turn your head slightly, looking at him. "really?" you question. "anything?" you sound intrigued and he swears you're leaning in, it's not his imagination right? you really are.

but before your lips can even brush against each other, historia's screeching voice booms in the living room. "y/n! it's time to get ready."

you quickly get off, almost throwing yourself to the ground as you scoff awkwardly. as if being knocked out of a trance. you don't even spare armin a glance as you crawl out.

get ready for what?

"another party?" armin leans on the doorway frame, watching his sister apply her makeup. "you two went to one just last night—and halloween themed? it's the middle of summer."

"that's what makes it fun!" she smiles, putting the blush down and standing up. she decided to go as a cat. or at least, he thinks it's a cat. drawn on whiskers with an ear headset, a damn tail, short dress with long fishnets.

she looks like a whore. she's been acting like a whore ever since summer started and he realizes maybe that's why you’re acting so different. you live near each other in the dorms and historia must be rubbing off of you.

he tries and keeps his outrage down as historia gets up, walking towards the door. "we'll be back at twelve...hopefully."

"no, you'll be back at twelve." he grits his teeth. "you'll get drunk like an idiot dear sister, and leave y/n all alone at some strangers house. again."

she blushes, offended at the assumption. "you're the one who brought me home last night, why are you blaming it on—"

"would mother appreciate this? you dressed up like a skank and going to a party two nights in a row?"

he shouldn't be saying this. it's not in his character and it's obvious historia is completely staggered at his behavior. "she's barely home and i doubt she cares what i do at night. unlike you, i haven't made it my life to be the perfect—"

"but i care." he's walking towards her before he can stop himself. "i care about the way you're treating y/n. dragging her to parties, getting her drunk so assholes can take advantage then leaving her high and dry. you're a bad influence, dear sister and it's truly annoying seeing you trying to turn her into some gross replica of you. she's not like that, she's not tainted like you. she's pure and i won't let—"

"you're hurting me jackass!" she whimpers and it's only then armin realizes he's seized her wrist, digging his nails into the skin.

he quickly lets go, clearing his throat. "sorry, just stressed from school."

the annoyance is clear in her eyes along with the rage but armin notices something else...a hint of fear? he scared her? fucking great. watch as she goes and rants to mother about her asshole of an older brother resulting in talks he definitely doesn't want to have.

"if you're so worried about y/n, come to the party like you did last night. keep an eye on your precious doll." she scoffs, shoving him away so she can step out the door, rubbing at her wrist.

that's not a total bad idea. it's a perfect way to get closer to you without seeming like a total creep plus he can keep eren and his greedy claws away. he quickly walks towards your door, knocking once before you're opening. his mouth nearly gapes open at the sight of you, how is it always possible for him to be blown away by your beauty every time he sees you? you're dressed in a short white dress, wearing a halo headset with wings.

an angel? fitting. very very fitting.

"you like it?" you grab the ends of the dress, showing it off. he notices you try very hard to not look at him in the eyes. "couldn't decide between a bride or angel. historia wanted me to go as a sexy nurse but i didn't really have—"

"gorgeous. you look gorgeous." it flows out of his tongue so smoothly it has the both of you tensing up.

"really?" you quirk an eyebrow, clearing your throat and finally looking at him. it feels so damn awkward—at least to you but you try to act normal nonetheless. "i expected a swarm of insults, you hate things like that."

"do i think having a halloween themed party in the middle of summer is completely and utterly idiotic? yes. but it doesn't deter from your blinding beauty."

a shy smile gathers on your face, "uh...thanks."

"ready to go? i'm driving.”

your eyes widen, "you? going to a party twice in a row? going to a party at all? are you okay?" your hand is quickly going to touch his forehead before he can comprehend what's going on. his cheeks immediately blaze red, taking a quick step back.

you take your hand away, letting out an uneasy laugh. "it's just a tough armin, not like i was going to stab you or something."

"i know—"

"you say you want our friendship back but you act like this...it's weird." you huff. "you've been acting weird ever since we left for college, no—you've been acting like an ass and i've let it go but this summer means a lot to me. i'm finally having fun for once in my life and i don't need you to come in and confusing me and—and what the hell was that fort—"

"i was just surprised!" he cuts off, tone more urgent than he wants it to be. "i do want us to be friends again!" he deliberately ignores the fort question.

he just wasn't prepared for the feeling of your skin against his in that moment. it’s usually him initiating the touches, not the other way around. he swallows the lump in his throat, quickly taking your hand in his. "i didn't mean to insult you. of course i want your touch, who wouldn't want it? you're—" he stops talking. stop it. stop it. he's babbling. "let's just go."

you nod, smiling again. at least you're not creeped out by his behavior.

the party is boring. it's only been an hour and he's bored out of his damn mind. other than drunk girls coming up to him and asking him what's he's supposed to be even though it's pretty freaking obvious he's not wearing a costume—the random loud shouting as someone starts taking shots is enough to drive him out of his mind.

but at least you're here.

he's made sure to keep an eye on you the second you guys got here. you've mostly been outside on the patio, drinking punch as you dance with some friends. he occasionally touches his lips, thinking of how close they were to yours in that fort. the way you looked at him was filled with...well you definitely didn't look at eren like that last night. speaking of the devil— "eren." he smiles tightly as his friend sits next to him on the sofa. "vampire?" he asks, eyeing his costume.

"is that alcohol?" he looks at the cup in armin's hand. "i need to get drunk immediately."

"it's water."

"water. of course it's water." he chuckles. "what else do i expect from mr goody two shoes?"

armin rolls his eyes, "why are you so desperate to find a way to act like even more of an idiot?" he mutters as if there aren't piles of cups around them, not to mention the cases of beer he's sure are in the fridge.

"nothing." he groans, leaning against the couch. "it's a party. getting drunk is what you're supposed to do."

"hmmm." he hums. "just thought it had to do with something else."

"like what?"

"well...i saw you and y/n the other night, getting it on."

"please never say getting it on ever again." he grins, sitting back up.

he's grinning...as if he didn't just commit a great sin against armin. didn't put his hands on armin's girl, didn't...he grits his teeth. how can he act so careless? as if he had any right to do what he did last night?

"do you like her?"

eren arches an eyebrow, looking at him. "what's it to you?"

"you don't do relationships. you hump and dump and y/n and i are very close. i don't want her becoming one of your victims."

"that's none of your business." he scoffs.

"just answer the question." his eyes bore into the others, clenching the cup in his hand to the point the liquid is overflowing onto his lap but he could care less. "cause if so, that's really pathetic. she always expresses how much of a idiot you are, it's funny really. how she had to be drunk to finally sleep with you."

"she wasn't drunk." he says through gritted teeth. "we were both a little tipsy but not drunk enough to—"

"why are you even doing this with her? she doesn't like you."

"again. it's none of your business." eren deadpans. "what's wrong with you tonight? we're both—"

"you're right." armin sighs, letting out an exaggerated laugh like he's just realized how crazy he sounds. even though he knows he’s acting perfectly sane right now, who wouldn’t be mad if they discovered what armin did? "i'm being weird, i'm just really protective of y/n. she's like family to me, you know that."

eren bites his lip, still a bit tense but nods nonetheless. "i'm not doing anything...like that with her. i genuinely wanna see where things go."

oh.

he's not sure which answer would've been better but he shakes his head okay, licking his now dry lips. "wanna get drunk on the roof? just like we used to?"

"you mean i got drunk and you sat there, silently judging me." eren corrects, anxious atmosphere from before now gone. armin likes that about him. quick to forget and never holds grudges. "but sure, i'll get the beer."

"i have to go pee, see you on the roof." he salutes before eren walks into the kitchen. his eyes instantly travel towards you, feet dragging themselves towards the patio before he can stop.

he just wants to ask if you're okay before he departs, see if you don't need any assistance. you're surrounded by people...but it's people he doesn't trust. he doesn't trust anyone with you. for good reasons. before he can walk further to tap your shoulder, he hears the conversation you're having with abby—he thinks that's her name.

she's been over for sleepovers many times. never really liked armin, that's for sure. he's heard her call him fake at least two times, saying someone can't actually be that nice or perfect. fucking abby. why is she talking to you? he should've gotten rid of her long ago, sabotaged the friendship as soon as he realized her bad influence.

"just ask him out!" he hears her squeal. "literally, what are you waiting for? he's so hot."

something tells him she's not fangirling like this  over armin.

"it's just...it's gonna be awkward!" you sigh, leaning against the wall. see? you can make good choices all by yourself, it's the people around your corrupting you. warping your thoughts until they're no longer your own. "he's armin's best friend and—"

"ugh! who cares about that boring walking encyclopedia!" abby groans heavily. "eren is probably the most popular guy on campus, have you seen those abs? ask him out or i will!" she laughs and armin knows she's not joking.

"he's not...boring." you mutter. "he's actually a pretty cool guy and—"

"you're probably the only one who thinks that." she rolls her eyes.

she interrupted you again. why is she always interrupting you? and why do you never speak up on it?

"ask eren out! c'mon, who cares about what armin thinks? his head is too busy being buried in books to notice anyone else regardless." she shakes your hand frantically.

you squirm, slowly nodding. "maybe. i might. eren doesn't seem to be totally av—"

"gotta go pee." she lets go of your hand. "drank way too much beer."

"want me to go with you?"

you're so nice. why are you so nice?"

"no, it's fine. it'll only take two seconds." she smiles, walking back inside. armin already made himself scarce the second she turned around, watching her walk up the stairs.

he should just go to the roof, talk to eren...but it seems eren isn't the only one standing in the way of his relationship with you. everyone wants to jeopardize it and he's had enough. so he's walking upstairs, not second guessing himself as he makes his way to the bathroom. he's been to this mansion many times before, his mother always having dinner with the owner of it to get into their good graces.

it doesn't take long before he finds it, the hallway is empty and he can hear abby inside. giggling nonsense to herself as she pees. she's drunk. probably wouldn't even remember his face.

he's not sure what he exactly plans to do but the second the door opens, he's immediately shoving her back inside. hands going to rest against her throat and mouth. fuck, he should've thought this through but all he can see right now is blind fury. people keep trying to tear you two apart and it's fucking with his brain. makes him so furious he just wants to punch everything in sight.

abby is screeching, trying to get out of his grip but she's a petite girl. barely weighing a hundred pounds. her back is to his chest and he prays she won't recognize him by the sound of his voice but even if she did...who cares? no one would believe her anyways. so he chuckles, not bothering to mask his voice.

"why do you keep getting in my way abby?" he sighs, applying a bit more pressure to her throat to which she whimpers at. "i don't want to hurt you so let this be a warning, hmm? stay away from y/n. never talk to her again, don't even think about her. that friendship is dead as of tonight? don't you think so?"

she only whimpers louder, trying to free herself so he applies even more pressure. she's now choking, little gasps trying to come out. "you're all trying to ruin her, it's so fucking annoying. just away, okay? it's simple enough, right? i'm going to let go now, don't turn around, don't scream unless you want me to break your windpipe? do you want that, abby?"

he's not sure he even knows how to break a damn windpipe, at least not yet but she doesn't know that. she nods frantically, tears flowing down her cheeks and onto armin's fingers. "great, now run away. all the way home." he lets her go and she doesn't need to be told twice as she bolts out of the room.

well, that was easy. he refrains from laughing as he leans on the doorway. she was all bark and no fight. always insulting armin but suddenly turning into a pathetic, sniveling bitch once he actually does something in retaliation.

he's feeling confident tonight, smiling ear to ear as he walks towards an open bedroom. the balcony door is wide open and he steps out onto it. climbing onto the roof doesn't take much effort, he's been doing it with eren for years.

speaking of eren.

another problem he needs to fix.

getting eren drunk isn't a hard thing to do. it only took a few minutes on the roof before he was slurring his speech. fortunately armin got them both back down on the balcony before the other could gravely injure himself.

injuring his best friend badly isn't on his to do list. at least physically. eren grips his forearm as armin lays him down on a random chair, the summer air causing eren's hair to flow around.

he understands why y/n is so smitten, he guesses. he's a pretty good looking guy. but so is armin. isn't he? he got rid of that haircut he would always get teased for, went to the gym a few nights and developed actual abs, don’t girls love abs...so why him? is it because he's popular? maybe cause he didn't wait eons to make a move like armin is currently doing.

whatever.

soon enough, he's going to be out of the equation.

eren's too inebriated to even realize where he is. this won't be hard, not one bit. "eren." armin sings. "i dare you to punch that railing." he leans against said railing, watching eren's sluggish movements as he stands up.

he's a jock, they love stupid dares. especially when they're drunk. eren scoffs in disbelief, offended armin even had to dare him. like he would've done it regardless. "easy."

"you sure you won't hurt yourself?" at least too badly.

he rolls his eyes and before armin can blink, his knuckles are slamming into the railing. he actually did it. why are jocks so easy? "that was so weak." armin challenges. "lame."

eren punches it again without saying anything, then again and again and armin has to hold him back and push him back on the chair before he's breaking his own bones. he examines his knuckles, bruised and bloodied. just like he wanted them. "h..how was that? cool right?" he slurs, smiling happily to himself.

admin nods, "very cool. now go to sleep." he hums lightly, patting the others head again until he's snuggling into the chair.

armin waits a few minutes until he's sure eren's finally sleeping. he walks towards the wall, letting out a few puffs to brace himself. he's doing all this for you. it'll be fine. he can do it.

he doesn't allow himself to think twice before he's slamming his forehead into the wall. fuck. fuck that hurts. but he can do it. it's for y/n. it's for their relationship. he can do it. so he does it again, and again until blood is dripping down his face.

fucking hell, it hurts.

he winces as he takes out his phone, wiping the blood on the wall with the sleeve of his sweater. he dials your number and you answer on the first ring. so perfect. so damn perfect.

"hey! where'd you disappear to?" your chirpy voice says on the other line.

"y/n." he makes sure to add emphasis on his voice, "c-can you come upstairs to the balcony? second bedroom on your right."

"uh...sure. are you okay?"

he decides to hang up at that, you're coming so there's no reason to continue talking. dots start to form in his eyes, he should've expected that. slamming your head repeatedly onto a wall will do that to someone.

you arrive not twenty seconds later, hurrying up into the room and gasping once you see the sight of him. "oh my gosh!" you rush over, placing a hand on his shoulder as your examine his face. "what ha—" it's then that you notice a sleeping eren in the seat next to you two.

and normally you wouldn't even jump to such a conclusion but with the way eren's knuckle is bruised...armin left little to be assumed. "don't tell me..." you trail off, eyes widening with disbelief as you look between the two of them.

"it's fine." armin breaths out, squinting his eyes shut at the pain. "he—he must've gotten too drunk and—it's fine."

"it's not fine!" you exclaim. "he...oh gosh why would he do that?"

he stands up from the seat he's been leaning against. "he was drunk, he wasn't thinking straight. it's my fault for mentioning mikasa knowing how—"

"mikasa?" your voice is so meek it has him finally looking at you. you look hurt, like a wounded little deer and although it pains him—he's only doing this to help you. you'll see it soon enough.

"yeah, all i did was mention how if he doesn't hurry and man up, she'll be swept away by some other guy on campus. you know how mikasa is, everyone loves her and i guess he got too mad. my fault for messing with true love." he chuckles, trying to lighten to the atmosphere. "sorry, that last part was cheesy but truly i'm—are you okay?"

your bottom lip is sucked in between your teeth anxiously, slight tears forming in your eyes. "f-fine."

"are my injuries really making you cry? wow, didn't know you cared so much."

he tries not to think about the fact you're actually crying over eren. fucking eren.

you let out a forced laugh, "y-yeah." you sniff. "let's get you home. him too."

"is he usually so...violent?" you ask once you two are in the car, driving eren home. "and don't you need stitches for that or something?"

"not usually so violent. i only see him get so worked up when it's something he's truly passionate about."

"...right."

"and for the stitches part? i don't think so." at least he hopes not.

you nod.

"he's my best friend, i'm not sure he didn't mean to do it."

"he still hurt you though, that's messed up." you look at him, frown visible on your face. "your face is too adorable to get a fist punched into it."

"adorable?" he gasps, making a turn. "i'm hot. i'd like to think i stopped being adorable right when i entered college."

you laugh, "yeah. i guess."

"you guess what?" he asks, teasing smile on his face.

you smile, "you're...hot. there? did i boost your ego enough?"

"you have no idea, angel."

you're taken back by the pet-name but then realize it probably has to do with your outfit as you lean back onto the chair, staring at the passing houses.

eren's cozy in his bed a couple minutes later, snuggling into the pillows. "wonder what he's gonna feel when he wakes up knowing he beat the crap out of his best friend." you murmur, watching him on the bed.

"he did not beat the crap out of me!" armin scoffs, defensively. you giggle, "those bruises look pretty serious to me."

"doesn't mean he beat the crap out of me! it's just harmless bruises."

"sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

he walks closer to you, "he really didn't. unless you haven't noticed, i've grown from that scrawny boy a years back. i can handle a fight."

"yeah, i've noticed but eren goes to the gym like a million times a day—"

"but did eren take a year of marital arts?" he counters.

"the dude is built like a bodybuilder, i doubt he needs marital arts."

"that's where you're wrong, dear y/n. brains win over brawn anytime."

"except for tonight." you say, mischievous glint in your eyes.

he blows air out through his lips in disbelief and it's only when he sees you squint at the movement that he realizes how close they are together. so close that all he needs to do is lean in a few inches and your lips are touching. should he? you're watching him intensely, like you also want to know what his next move is.

do you want him to? he doesn't know. he planned much more experiences to get you to realize he's the one for you. he doesn't want your first kiss with him to be in eren's bedroom, of all places. but maybe a petty part of him does want that. a way of getting back at eren for what he did. for almost taking you away from armin.

your eyes flicker up, staring at him before flicking back down to his lips. it seems you want to make the first move as your lips brush against his and armin has to will himself to not fall down because his knees feel like they're going to give out any second. holy...is this really happening? he's been waiting for this his entire life. for you to finally...fuck, your fingers idly play with the buttons of his shirt before you're deepening the kiss.

he doesn't know why but he pulls away, "why should i kiss you y/n?" he asks, voice teasing yet stern at the same time.

your body heats up from embarrassment, "i—don't you like me? the fort—"

"do i like you?" he could almost scoff at the stupid question. "do you like me?"

you look up at him, stumbling for words to say to that. you look like he's just asked you to commit murder, biting harshly on your bottom lip before breathing out. "y-yes." your voice is so timid. "i've always liked you."

oh?

oh.

"and yet you were under eren like a whore the entire night." he's not sure why he allowed that to come out but he did. you inhale sharply, quickly shaking your head. "n—no. i—"

"what? it's not like you two tried to hide it. with the way you were giggling, the way you were moaning his name."

"you saw that?"

"of course i did. how can i kiss you when you've been with eren? moaning his name, crying for him to go deeper. do you you think you deserve my kiss, y/n?" he keeps his face impassive but he's filled with glee on the inside. at the humiliation on your face, the guilt.

"i-i'm sorry!" you stammer. "i s-slept with him and i...i admit i do like him but it's clear he doesn't feel the same way an—"

"so what? i'm just a second resort?"

"no!" you quickly deny. "i've liked you for so long, armin but you've made it clear you didn't want this friendship to continue. and after this morning...and tonight i don't want to let more years pass by before i confess my feelings a—i'm sorry for what i did with eren—i really...i'm sorry." your eyelashes have tears on them, fingers digging into his shirt as you try not to full on break down.

it's so adorable. you've always been a crybaby. "i probably don't deserve it but...please...please kiss me." your bottom lip trembles.

"well go on, kiss me." he wanted to tease more, have you grovel and beg but how can he? when you're looking so desperate for just one kiss.

have you really? always liked him? has he been so blind to not notice? fucking idiot. so you have always been on the right track, you've always known what you wanted. it's others who stopped you from achieving what you truly wanted. others and armin's stupid decisions.

he allows you to lean in, your nails almost digging into his cheeks as you kiss him. he instantly wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you closer. you tilt your head to the side to get a better angle, and just as your tongues meet, armin pulls out again which elicits a whimper from you. "what..."

he grabs your jaw harshly, fingertips digging into the sides as he forces you to open your mouth. you look so pretty like this for him. dressed in white with a damn halo over your head as you look at him with that expression on your face. eyes just begging for you to be fucked. he doesn't think as he spits in your mouth and you whimper but don't protest.

he lets go and you swallow without a second thought, eyes focused on him. he can see why eren was so rough that night, you're just asking for it. "you let him fuck you, y/n. let him touch you."

should he even be acting so possessive right now? he should save that for later, when he's wired the fact you belong to him and only him into your brain. but that look in your eyes...it seems you already know. and his cock twitches at the possibility. do you? do you already know who you belong to y/n?

he drags you back until your back bumps against the dresser, his hand grabs your cunt which is practically aching for him already. "you let him touch this. this which belongs to me." he says into your ear and you whimper, clenching his shirt.

"s—sorry, p—lease please i'm so—nngh!" armin pinches your clit, mercilessly digging his fingers into the sensitive bud.

"who does this belong to?"

slick is already forming, coating his fingers. tears gather in your eyes, "y-you."

it's like fireworks went off inside of him, like he's finally seeing the light after years and years of pining. you do know. you know that every inch of you belongs to him, that you weren't made for anyone else. you were made for him. only him.

you shiver as his lips plant soft kisses on your chest, his hand gripping your hip. those hips he's always had too many fantasies about to count. he bites down, wanting everyone to see his marks on you. to see who you belong to. his teeth nip on your chest, jaw, chin, neck—anywhere he can leave marks.

he just wants to make you feel good, so good you forget about all your other past partners. he roughly turns you around so you can see yourself in the mirror behind you, your hands lean on the dresser, a dazed look already in your eyes. "you don't care that he's here?" armin whispers.

you shake your head, "i don't. please armin, fuck me."

you let out a wonderful moan as he pulls your dress up, ripping your panties and throwing them on the ground. he dives a finger inside of your needy cunt, "fuck!" you whimper.

"does it hurt?" he mocks. he doubts it does. not with the way you're trembling with pleasure under his touch. "i'm sorry angel but you don't deserve lube. not after everything you put me through me."

you nod helplessly, not even disagreeing with his words. "i'm so sorry." tears fall down your cheeks, eyes looking back into his through the mirror.

you're so weak for his touch and it's so gratifying. it's all he's ever wanted.  "you're so pretty, so tight just for me." he inserts another finger, curling them until your legs start shaking under your own weight. he holds you up, teeth grazing your neck and peppering kisses on your back.

it's so hot. everything feels so hot as the moans travel out of your lips, the sound of his fingers inside of you followed by your high pitched whining. it's almost too much. eren is right there and although he's not waking up anytime soon, it's just...fuck. it takes another finger before you're spilling onto his hand, guttural moan escaping your lips as you almost fall down.

he smiles in ecstasy, bringing his fingers to his lips and shamelessly licking every single white spot he finds on them. why would he be ashamed? he's been waiting for this his entire life. this is all he could ever ask for. "it tastes just like candy." he grins near your ear.

you shiver, "please...please fuck me."

he doesn't allow himself any more stalling, he's gonna have the rest of your lives together to taste and tease you. right now, all he wants to do is sink into that tight heat. so he does. and you both moan at the feeling. it's so hot, taking it in like armin's cock was always meant to be there. and it was, wasn't it?

"fuck..." he grips your hips, starting to thrust up. the arousal eating him up.

"so—big." you choke out as he starts to fill you up all the way. "feels so good..." you grip his cock so perfectly. everything you do is so perfect.

he starts to thrust harder once you've adjusted, not sparing any time as he pounds into you. the items on the dresser start to shake, moving around but none of you care enough. skin slaps against skin, his fingers clench your hips while yours dig into the dresser. he grins at the way your mouth falls open, tongue lolling around as you're helpless to way he's drilling into you.

you love this. it's so evident on your face. you love the fact it's armin behind you, the fact it's him inside of you right now. you didn't even ask for a condom...fuck how perfect would that be? you filled up with his babies. he could almost cum just at the thought.

but he doesn't. instead he increases his pace, fucking you eagerly. "wanted this for so long. fuck, you're so tight. feels so good. you're so perfect. so so perfect."

you let out a wet sob, whether at his actions or words—he doesn't know but he relishes the sound. "you like that y/n? being pounded into like you're nothing? while the guy you claim to like sleeps not even five feet away? it's pathetic." he chuckles.

and he's not usually so mean. he won't be during your other sexual activities. no he'll treat you like a princess, like the perfect angel you are. but right now, he's angry. and you need to know your place.

"suh—sorry." you cry out. "won't do it again. so sorry." you shake your head, grinding your ass back to meet his thrusts.

you throw your head back, mouth parted and begging for a kiss to which armin gives. your tongues meet, swirling around together as he licks into your perfect mouth. you two moan into each others mouths as armin continues his pace and—fuck he has to almost slap himself for being an idiot and not doing this sooner as he brings his hand around to cup your right breast, clenching it tightly and you moan deliciously at the contact.

he grips it as your tongue goes to lick his teeth, licking anything really. you're so needy. just as needy as him. your moans get even louder and he's thankful eren's parents are out on some business trip cause he's pretty sure the entire neighborhood can hear you right now. "so—ah! so good armin. you make me feel so good." you say, voice airy. "please fill me up, please i want your cum."

he's pretty sure those exact words are the reason for the orgasm that happens not two seconds later. he grips your waist tightly, cock deep inside as he empties everything in you. you practically scream, legs shaking as armin continues to grind into you. making you feel every single inch of him. because it all belongs to you.

"so perfect." he pants, resting his sweaty forehead on your back. "so perfect."

would now be a good time to say he loves you?

you’re avoiding him.

at first he just thought you were just a bit shy considering the circumstances, you two were close friends then went through a period of barely speaking to each other for months only for him to end up fucking you in someone else’s bedroom.

so he gave you time to process all of that but it’s been two weeks...how much more time do you need? the first week he tried to stay calm but now it’s getting too much, the last time he gave you space you two didn’t speak for so long. that was his fault and he won’t make it again, he can’t go through that again. not after finally having a taste of you.

he sighs deeply, digging his fingers under the pillow and taking out the pink lace bra he took out of your drawer the other day. he just misses you too much. it feels like he can’t breath whenever you awkwardly walk out of a room once you see him, how you deliberately ignore his unwavering gaze, how you haven’t said even a single word to him.

it fills him up with anxiety and he needs to find a way to release somehow so he shamelessly acquired this piece of material. it’s not like he’s committed some crime, he just needed to find a way to be near you. to feel you again.

he wishes he could see it on you, maybe he’ll ask you to keep it on next time you two make love again. his hand was under his sweatpants the second he felt himself harden, quickly tugging on his length until he was panting into the pillow. “y/n...” he moans.

he needs you. needs to taste you, touch your soft skin and feel it under his fingertips. needs to hear your moans, see your scrunched up eyebrows and dazed out eyes as he pounds into you...fuck you’d be clawing at his shoulders just like that night. you’d be so tight as sweat drips down both of your bodies.

he grips his cock tighter, toes curled and eyes shut tight as the bra is held to his chest. if only he could live between your legs forever, feeling your tight heat and hearing your pretty little sounds. he’d never want to leave.

you’ve been gone all day, barely been around the last two weeks and he had no idea how much his schedule depended on you being near. even when he was ignoring you, most of the things he did throughout the day consisted of taking care of you. making sure you got to your classes, took your morning jokes safely, how he used to watch you study in the library and so much more. but he didn’t even know where you were now, he had your entire routine memorized back on campus. it definitely isn’t the same now that school was temporarily over.

loneliness was creeping in. he doesn’t know what to do without you. it’s not like he could study to pass the time anymore. fuck. all he needed was one more tug before he was releasing all over his hand.

that was unsatisfactory. it’s not like the real thing. masturbating does nothing anymore once he’s actually been inside of you. he groans, frustration threatening to take him apart as he gets up and walks towards the bathroom. it only takes a few minutes before he’s cleaned up and changed his clothes, ready to go to sleep.

but then he hears something.

rustling outside, right under his window. then he hears your soft voice, uttering something he can’t quite hear. he walks closer to it, thankful he left it slightly open.

what he sees...is definitely not what he expected.

his fingers unconsciously clench the window handle, almost breaking his nails in the process as he watches eren—eren walking down the lawn and into the street.

he was...he was in your room? he didn’t hear the front door open and there’s no other way for eren to have walked in unless he climbed that tree next to the two rooms. why was he in your room?

armin tastes blood in his mouth, biting down on his tongue so harshly that his teeth pierced into it. while he was in here, agonizing over your absence—you were in there with him. doing who knows what.

well, it’s pretty obvious what you were up to as he watches the pep in eren’s steps.

fucking hell.

he thought he fixed that.

are the healing bruises in his face just...fuck why are you with him? he shakes his head, trying to calm down but it’s pointless at this rate. he should’ve done more, he would’ve done more but then you suddenly came onto him that night and he thought he had won. apparently not.

playing nice is pointless. it seems you like men like eren regardless of the crappy actions they do. what’s wrong with you?

he’s walking to your bedroom in the next second, fists clenching and unclenching. what’s wrong with you? he goes to knock but then scoffs bitterly before sharply opening the door, hearing the sound of it smacking against the wall.

you’re on your bed, gasping and eyes widening at the abrupt action and sound. “armin—what—”

you’re just wearing an oversized shirt...that is definitely not his. looks like eren’s old football jersey. fucking hell. what is wrong with you, y/n?

“are you serious?” he breathes out, nails digging into the flesh of his palms. “are you fucking serious?” he takes a step forward and you anxiously scoot back on the bed.

“what are you doing?” you ask like he’s in the wrong. like he’s the one acting like a little confusing, manipulative whore.

“why are you doing this to me, y/n?” he grits out. “why?”

“doing what?” you raise your voice a bit, pursing your lips. the look in your eyes tells him you know exactly what he’s talking about.

“what’s so special about him? please tell me cause i don’t understand. why’d you go back to him even after everything he did? he doesn’t even love you—not like i do, how many times do i have to say no one loves you like i do?” he’s in front of you in a second, hands clenching your shoulders and slightly shaking you.

“y-you’re acting weird, armin.” your bottom lip starts to quiver. “you’re scaring me.”

“i’m scaring you?” he laughs. “not the man who almost beat me to a pulp? but it’s me who scares you?”

“l-like you said—he was drunk so...so he didn’t mean to! he said he apologized—”

“that’s not the point!” he yells, startling you. your eyes are widen to the point they look like they’re going to fall out but he doesn’t care. what’s wrong with you? “he’s brash, rude, inconsiderate. he could care less about you and trust me the second summer is over, he’s ditching your ass for someone else and yet you still pin after him? is that what you like y/n? do you enjoy getting walked over like a damn doormat by everyone? your parents, historia, abby and now eren? what the fuck is wrong with you?”

tears are gathering in your eyes, you bring your hands up to his and push them off of your shoulders. “you’re being mean.”

“i thought you liked that? unless it’s coming from me right? you allow everyone else to treat you like crap then come crawling to me with tears in your damn eyes when you need a safety net.” he seethes. “everyone else can be jackasses, except for me. i always need to be your perfect little armin.”

“what is your problem?” you stand up, facing him. trying to appear strong when you both know it’s all an act. you can barely stand up for yourself without crying. “you’re the one who ignored me for—”

“not this crap again. you’re the one who came onto me that night, saying you’re mine, begging me to fuck you and then you suddenly ignore me and go right back to eren even after everything.” he throws his hands up in the air.

“i like eren.” you exhale shakily, seems like those three words were the only ones you were capable of forming at the moment.

“you said you liked me too, remember? how you always liked me—”

“i was drunk that night, armin.” it’s said so nonchalantly, like it’s the actual truth but he knows better. he was watching you most of the night and you didn’t even go near a cup of alcohol.

fuck, he wants nothing more than to grip and throw you on that bed. fuck into you like the slut you apparently are and hear your soft noises. but it seems—it seems you don’t want that from him. you want that from eren. you want eren to be the big bad wolf and for armin to be your safe sanctuary whenever things get too rough.

he doesn’t want that. he wants to be your everything.

why can’t you allow that?

“so, what? you don’t want me?”

if being rough won’t work then he can try an alternative. it doesn’t matter if it makes him look pathetic, he needs you.

and the pain he’s in right now is excruciating, blurring his vision with tears. “can’t you at least try then y/n?” he walks over, hands suddenly grasping your wrists. the hold was rigid, crushing and even he was surprised at the sheer force of it. like he was trying to break something. “you can try to want me, to love me? can’t you? is it that hard? after everything i’ve done for you, you want to just leave me behind in the dust? everything i’ve done means nothing to you?”

you whimper, shaking your head no. “t—that’s not it. i just—” tears start to trail down your face, tiny sobs filling the room. “it’s not you, it’s me.”

“really? that crap line—”

“it’s the truth!” you exclaim, facing him again. “i...i don’t deserve you, armin. being with people like eren is better because even when i screw up, it won’t matter. b-but if we do get together than i’ll just mess everything up and hurt you and then i’ll lose you and i don’t wanna—i don’t want to lose you. i can’t.” you babble.

he stares at you, shock written all over his face. and disbelief, pure disbelief. that’s what you’re scared of? “the only thing that’s hurting me is you being with eren. it’s fucking kill me, y/n.” he chokes out. “and how many times do i have to tell you that i’ll never leave.”

“you left before.” you say, voice barley above a whisper. “you just left me alone to face everything and then you get mad cause of my choices—”

“i’m sorry, i regret doing that. so, so much.” he cups your cheeks, finally letting go of your wrist and it’s only then does he see the slight bruises his grip left on your wrist. fuck, why do you look so pretty with his marks?

“but that was the last time. i’m never leaving you again. i love you y/n. you’re all i need and i’m all you need, okay?” he leans his forehead against yours, taking in your everything. “okay?”

“but you can’t see the future, what if—”

“no.” he snaps, voice filled with finality. the only way he’s ever going to be apart from you is if the claws of death try to sink their way into him and even then, he’d find a way back to you. he can’t be without you. not anymore. it’s not even an option. “i won’t. i promise. okay?”

you stay silent for a minute, tears still streaming down as you sniff. “okay.” you rest your face in the crook of his neck, gripping the collar of his shirt. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, please forgive me.” you sob.

that’s exactly what you said that night and you still went and betrayed him. and yes you cleared things up. he knows it was all because of insecure, self sabotaging thoughts that pierced their way into you but what if they come back? what if you do that again? he can’t see you with eren anymore, he won’t be able to control his actions if he does. he backs away, taking your jaw into his hand and staring at you.

“you won’t do that again, will you?” he’s not asking. the tone in his voice makes it clear committing something as atrocious as that isn’t even a possibility anymore.

you nod meekly, doe eyes staring into yours with a hint of fear but this time he doesn’t care. if a bit of fear will keep you from shattering his heart again, then he hopes it sticks forever.

“i won’t.” you smile timidly.

good.

he’s inside of you not ten minutes later, chest covering your back as he fondles your breast. leaving marks anywhere he can. you’re his. and he’ll make sure everyone knows it. teeth sinking into fragile flesh with no mercy and with the way you cry out, you don’t seem to mind.

you’re yelping with every thrust, fingers clenching the sheets and his end goal is take several rounds throughout the night, pound into you until you’re non verbal. barely able to even let out tiny whimpers. he wants you so fucked out that no other cock will fill you up the way he does. and most certainly not eren’s.

he can tell he’s close, quickly flipping you around so you’re straddling him now, hands wrapping around your neck as you cry out. he smirks at the sight in front of him, purple marks covering your body, tear filled eyes and uncontrollable noises of pleasure.

so perfect.

it’s all he’s ever wanted.

he grips your waist, pistons in and out to the point you’re screaming. does historia hear that? hears you scream for him, evidence you’re his now. not theirs anymore. they can’t control you anymore, can’t taint what he loves any longer. armin’s the only one for you.

“oh—oh fuck.” you sniff through the tears, bouncing on top of him. that lace bra snug on your chest. you wore it just for him, just cause he asked.

“do you love me?” he pants, grip tightening.

you nod dumbly, without a second thought. “i do...i love you. i love you so much, armin.”

“good.” he smiles. fucking fantastic.

“you belong to me, right? you don’t need them anymore? right?” he practically begs.

you whimper, staying silent a second too long so he angles this next thrust into your sweet spot

causing you to yelp. “y-yes! i’m yours, i don’t need them.” you confirm.

“you don’t need anyone but me.”

“i don’t need anyone but you.” you whine, leaning your head onto his. “and you don’t need anyone but me, r-right?”

what kind of question is that? of course he doesn’t need anyone else. he’s never needed anyone else. if he could burn the entire world down with you two as the only survivors, he would. he wants you to himself, wants you to only have him. forever and always.

“of course.”

[justheretoreadsposts]

Have you lost your mind?

summary: Azriel gets lectured by Rhysand and Cassian about his constant flirting with Elain, not knowing that she was hiding in the closet.

authors note: hello! This is my second one-shot (I might make this into a small series) This was inspired by a certain scene in The Office ;) and I’d like to thank @shedoessoshedoes for listening to my random ideas and giving me feedback and making this so much better!

Warning: English isn’t my first language.

Azriel didn’t like change. 

He really didn’t. But something had changed about his mornings. He used to love to wake up to the smell of black coffee, but that had changed since he met her. His new favourite thing was waking up to find Elain tucked in between his shoulder and his chest, sound asleep. 

He would never get bored of watching her sleep, he looked down at a sleeping Elain. He didn’t want to move and accidentally wake her up, even though he missed her big brown eyes looking up at him. 

 “What are you doing?” She asked, pulling Azriel out of his trance. She pushed herself up, sitting up against the headboard. She pushed her long honey-brown locks away from her face and threw it in a ponytail.

“Enjoying the scenery,” He simply responded before he sat up, leaning against the headboard.

Elain dipped her head, she was blushing a thousand shades of red. He hooked his index finger below her chin and gently tilted her head up, to look at him. He smiled, a loopy one nonetheless, and began to smother her face with light and tender kisses. “Az!” She squealed, squirming as he pulled Elain under him. 

“I gotta show some love somehow, don’t I?” He murmured as he began to press kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

She giggled, a bright smile on her face. She found herself growing excited as his grip on her hips began to tighten as she began to tug off the shirt she was wearing which she had snagged from his closet. Before they went any further, a loud bang broke the silence that had occupied the house. He recognized the footsteps that marched up the stairs, it was Cass and Rhys, who had gotten married to Elain’s sisters recently and were Azriel’s college mates in Velaris University.

The fuck? What are they doing here?

 Azriel kissed Elain’s cheek before he pulled his shirt over her shoulders and rolled off of her, hopping out of the bed with Elain close behind him. She realized it was her brothers in law when she saw Azriel’s eyes widen, she quickly pushed herself into his closet, hiding in between his hoodies before her brothers-in-law walked into Azriel’s room. 

Two weeks ago, after Nesta and Cassian’s rehearsal dinner, Azriel confessed his feelings to Elain. God, it terrified him when he admitted his feelings to his best friend. He didn’t want to ruin what they had. They met in University, before Elain opened her flower shop, and had became very close friends. 

What if she didn’t reciprocate his feelings? He worried, every rational fear flew through the window the minute Elain went on her tippy toes and kissed him.

Ever since that night, they have been together, in secret. Suspicions began to arise when Azriel and Elain to quietly flirt between themselves and began to sit next to each other every time the family went out. Small touches here and there, a hand on the small of her back, an arm around her shoulder. 

One time when everyone went out for dinner, he slipped his hand under the table trying to tease her, but his hand landed on Amren’s thigh. 

He didn’t know if he was going to make it alive tonight when Amren’s piercing gaze fell on Azriel’s face. One brow raised at him and he quickly retracted his hand in fear in fear while a small laugh erupted from across the table from Elain. They were a bit tipsy, but the mother, Azriel could've gotten drunk on the sound of Elain’s laugh.

He didn’t forget what she had done. He raised his brows, in challenge and nodded. Oh she was to pay for this, he would make sure of it. 

Nesta Archeron was always the mama bear while Elain was the cub but it was Feyre who noticed the occasional hand around her waist, the sly smiles and winks that were thrown across the table. She talked to her husband, Rhysand, and told him of her suspicions, which led them to this moment.

Azriel shut the closet door, making sure Elain wasn’t visible and then quickly sat back on his bed before Rhysand and Cassian welcomed themselves into his room. “She is like my little sister!” Rhysand exclaimed as he glared at Azriel. “I don’t want to see you sniffing around her anymore. Boy, have you lost your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it.” 

Azriel's gaze shifted to the closet, where the said sister, Elain, was hiding. 

“What are you looking at? I’m not going to hold Nesta back when you cuts you to pieces, The Mother could come through that door and she’s not going to help you if you keep flirting with Elain!” Cassian exclaimed. 

“Can I know what I did to earn a lovely lecture at-” He looked at the alarm that sat on his bedside table. “At nine in the morning?” 

“Feyre talked to me and said that she thinks that something is going on between you and El.” Rhysand explained, his violet eyes glaring at him as his arms crossed across his chest.

“And if something was going on between us?”

“Then good luck, because Nesta will kill you in your sleep.” Cassian shrugged. ��Nes and Feyre love Elain, and they will happily kill you if you dare break her heart. And Mother! I would help them do it!”

“God, I would never break her heart. I love her.” Azriel declared.

The two men stood in shock and a small gasp was heard from the closet. Rhysand’s brows flew to his hairline when he heard the gasp, he made his way across the room and opened the closet door to find Elain standing there.

Only in his shirt. 

“The fuck?” Cassian exclaimed as he took in Elain.

Azriel clenched his jaw, not because their secret was now out, more like he didn’t like the way their relationship was exposed. 

 “You love me?” Elain whispered as she climbed out of his closet and towards him. 

Azriel just nodded, he loved her. And Mother did he hope she loved him back. “I love you Elain, you have bewitched me body and soul, I love you.” He let out a shaky breath.

“Did he just quote pride and prejudice?” Rhysand whispered to Cassian, who nodded. 

Elain ran to Azriel, who pressed a kiss on his lips. “I love you too,” She smiled as a happy tear escaped her. “I love you, and I’m never gonna stop.” She mumbled.

Azriel wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss. It wasn’t a tender kiss, it was the type of kiss where she felt devoured. 

“That’s our cue to leave.” Cassian mumbled as he grabbed Rhysand’s wrist and dragged him out.

She let out a big laugh when they left. Azriel flashed Elain with a smile only she would have the privilege to see. Her heart melted as she looked at him and his big grin that rarely graced his face. 

“I love you, Az.” She hugged him. 

“Say it again.” 

“I love you, Azriel Knight.”

——————————————————————————

authors note: I’m a big office fan, if you can’t tell already ;) hope you enjoyed reading this, and don’t forget to share, like, and give feedback!

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 10 (Bucky Barnes au)

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed,

You put me on  and said I was your favourite”

Word count : 1712

Going back to everyone wasn't even as awkward as you'd predicted ; what had just happened with Bucky was pretty obvious. Yet, all the guests decided to cheer you up and spend their night telling you jokes or just talking to you about random memories. When you went back to your  room for good, you made sure Bucky walked you there : you were silently thanking Steve for giving you a room this far away from the others, since it gave you the opportunity to speak freely.

"So, about earlier,"  you started, "I think..."

"Hum,  yeah. I get it must be complicated for you." He scratched the back of his head as you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

"It's not, actually." You looked him in the eyes. "I know exactly what I want."

Something gleamed in his eyes – a hint of hope, maybe.

"You do?" he asked. "I don't want you to be in this situation, so..."

"I swear," — you gently grabbed the front of his shirt  – "I promise I know you're who I want." You lowered your gaze. "I'd be a fool to pretend otherwise."

Bucky tilted his head down to see you better, breathing on the tip of your nose. "This makes me...really happy." He kissed your nose, making you feel an instant warmth in your chest. "Now go get some rest. You've had an eventful night."

"You're right." You let go of him to grab the doorknob and turned around. "Wait, before I go..." You span and placed your hands on his shoulders to help you reach his height and planted a kiss on his lips again. "I really wanted to do this again."

You chuckled and left him at the door, quickly closing it behind you so that he wouldn't see you smiling like a teenager. Changing into your pyjamas, you were still unable to think about anything else than the  first kiss you'd shared and the emotion it'd gifted you with. You chose not to go to sleep right away : you knew a knock on your door would come. Around twenty minutes afterwards, you were ready to open the door to your sister right after hearing her.

"So, that happened," she said when she sat on your bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Don't you already know that?" you teased. "I thought you were supposed to be a mind-reading enchantress or something. Your skills are getting rusty, sis."

Wanda couldn't help but laugh before asking her question  again. "Seriously, I want to hear it from you, not  from your thought process. It's too much of a mess anyway."

You rolled your eyes at the skies  before sitting next to her. "It was... I don't know how to describe it." You shrugged. "It felt right."

"And what are you going to do about Darren? I heard you saying you were over, but are you actually doing it?"

You stopped to think for a moment. What would divorcing Darren concretely mean? You'd have to go through a divorce procedure, and you didn't know how those were  supposed to go. Maybe you could  ask Tony if he knew any good lawyers who might you out. But there was another thing you'd need to do.

"I'll  go get my stuff tomorrow. I'm thinking  of asking Tony if I can stay here...permanently."

You wrapped your hands around your legs and rested your chin on your knees.

"I'll go with you. I don't trust him."

"Thanks, Wanda."

Your sister hugged you tight before lying down next to you.

"I'm here for you. We're family," she noted. "Now get some sleep ; you need it."

You lay next to her and as it turned out, you fell asleep pretty fast. Maybe soulmates had that effect on people.

---

"He's not even here," you remarked. "Even after our fight last night, he doesn't bother showing up at his own apartment."

Darren's behaviour was already heating up your anger, and you were once  again patting yourself on the shoulder for refusing both Steve and  Sam's help that day. They would not have handled this by calming you down. Maybe Steve would've tried, but well, even he had his limits. Messing with his family was one of them.

Your sister followed you to your bedroom, where you dragged a suitcase from under your bed. When you opened it, Wanda's eyes lingered for a second : it wasn't empty.

"Were you packing for a trip?" she asked.

You looked away and shrugged. "I don't know if I was planning for a honeymoon or a bad fight," you admitted. "Turns out it's the latter." You kept running around the place, packing everything from your most random flannel shirt to your favourite coffee mug.

"I think I'm ready to go," you ended up saying as you closed your suitcase. "I'm- wait. Did you hear the door too?"

"Y/n?"

"Fuck." You looked at Wanda, who'd recognised Darren's voice as well. You walked out of the bedroom, your suitcase rolling behind you. Your husband's eyes fell on your luggage before going back to you. You tried searching for any trace of sadness on his face ; all you found was anger and disappointment.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. "And what is she doing here?"

"Wanda's here because she wanted to help me get as far away from you as possible," you replied. "My whereabouts are none of your business anymore."

"You can't just leave like that. You're still my wife, as far as I know."

"Not for long."

Darren's face got bright red as he went in the kitchen. You knew he was about to start yelling, so you went for the door. His arm stopped you ; you hadn't seen him turn around. He grabbed your wrist, causing you to let out a faint scream. Wanda didn't need any more excuses to use her abilities.  She pinned him against the wall with a slight gesture of her hand.

"Don't you touch her again," she breathed. "You don't want me to use my full strength."

You could see Darren's nostrils flaring with anger and his fist clenching. You hated seeing him like this : some part of you still remembered the guy you'd fallen for several years earlier and you wished you could've made him stay like that.

"Don't blame  yourself for his behaviour, y/n," Wanda told you, not looking away from Darren. "Trust me, this man can't be changed. He'll always be a douchebag."

Your sister let go of him and opened the apartment's door for you. You were finally stepping out of that place, walking away from Darren.

"So what?" you heard him yell. "You're just gonna go back to that weird staring guy?"

You turned around and stared at him. You were done looking down and letting him hurt you. "Stop."

"What is it, huh?" – He walked closer to you and you gestured towards Wanda to let her know you were okay. "Is he better in better in bed than I am? Because I highly doubt that any man could make a good one out of you."

"Wow, you got to this level of insults. I shouldn't be surprised, coming from you." You paused, unsure of what his reaction would be to your next words. "I'll have divorce papers sent to you."

His jaw dropped, your words leaving him speechless. HIs insults still left a bitter taste in your mouth as you did your best to hide your pain. You didn't think such a long relationship could end like this, in a heartbeat, in the drop of a coffee cup.

Going back to the compound seemed to take less time than it took going to Darren's place. You were looking out of the window in silence, even though you knew your sister was holding back her remarks about Darren : you didn't need mind-reading powers to know that.

"Go ahead. Tell me I should've seen it coming."

"I'm not going to tell you that. Believe it or not, I wish I'd been wrong about him."

You gave Wanda a side glance : her grip on the stirring wheel was stern but her eyes were filled with sympathy.

"But I should've seen it coming. Damn, I despised his friends the moment I met them and he's just like them."

Wanda chuckled, which seemed inappropriate at first. "You didn't see that coming."

These words forced a smile out of you. "He would kick his ass, wouldn't he?"

"Absolutely. And he wouldn't be gentle about it."

You fiddled with your fingers. "Moments like these... I miss him the most."

"I know." Your sister's hand grabbed yours for a second before going back to the wheel. Her voice had gotten a little shaky from the emotion. "I also know he would've liked Bucky for you."

"Maybe. I shouldn't rush into this, though."

"Wait, what?" Wanda was confused, it seemed. How could she not be?

"Wanda, I just got out of a long relationship. I'm not even divorced yet. Bucky deserves better than this mess of a situation."

"Oh c'mon, he won't care about that. Have you seen how the man looks at you?"

A grin made its way to your lips as you remembered the numerous occasions Bucky  had laid his blue eyes on you, and yesterday, on your lips.

"I feel like I can't do this to him, you know? There are so many things I like about him, from the way he bothers pronouncing my name correctly, not the bland American way, to the habit he has of scratching his neck... You  know, dumb stuff. But what do I have to offer him? I'm not..."

"Stop. That's Darren speaking, not you," your sister softly reprimanded you. "You're worth so much more than you think you are. I also know that the guy who's going to rush to you to make sure you're okay is falling in love with you, if he hasn't already. His mind is almost as big a mess as yours."

"Wow, that's a first," you joked, the mention of love making you anxious. "The mess thing, I mean."

"Yeah, sure," — she snickered – "the mess thing."

--- They're getting serious, guys! I hope this part was good and that you liked it. Part 11 will come soon. :)

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3

[8uny]

encanto spoilers (copy and pasted from my notes)

-As with Disney movies sometimes, trailer did the movie a disservice. There was that 3 headed dog scene in the trailer and people were trying to connect it to columbian folklore and got the idea that Mirabel would go to the magic realm to save the magic. but actually in the movie the dog was cereberus from greek mythology and wasnt actually a character or there it was a visual metaphor for how hard her sister works where it feels like shes fighting a big dog. i felt the same way above Brave where the movie has a lot going for it and a big heart but the trailer takes the most epic and adventurous shots to promise an epic adventure movie but the movie ISNT ACTUALLY ABOUT THAT.. its about FAMILY with minimal adventuring... it was worse in Brave (i really thought it was gonna be an epic adventure movie when it was just hijinks) but still notable here.

-i felt like they didnt play with musical logic as much as other movies, youre more stuck in the realm of 'so did this happen and people just think its normal in universe or are we in a characters imagination or....' ambiguity type of shit. i think like beauty and beast and tangled and moana and even frozen did it much better

-keeping track of all the family members was easier than i thought. except shapeshifting boy was a useless character sadge he had my favorite design and power. everyone else brought at least something to the story

-little leopard boy had a lot of setup to do cool things but never actually did anything cool. like when he overheard bruno and mirabel and was like 'the rats told me' like okay cool what next >:) (nothing). esp since he was set up as like, her favorite family member in the start.

-the house is my favorite character i love how it was animated and how much personality it had. spoilers when the house died i expected people to mourn it so much more because it felt like such a real person. or that we'd figure out the house had abuelo's soul in it or some shit

-i think Luisa's song wouldve benefited from being either a little later or establishing Luisa as a character more firmly. because it is a GREAT song and she is a GREAT character but i think it wouldve hit so much harder if we like... we saw her the way she feels like she's being percieved, we see her as invincible and stoic and no weakness. like if mirabel monologued about how strong and reliable luisa is, or expressed doubt when eargirl told her 'luisas been acting weird' like going 'it's LUISA!! NOTHING bothers her!! youre crazy' like really truly showing off how people never ever even consider she might be struggling before she does a musical number about her feelings https://youtu.be/tQwVKr8rCYw Like listen. This is my FAVORITE SONG IN THE MOVIE. ITS SO GOOD, I just think it could've hit harder with more setup.

also you can see how theyd use the dog fight shot from this song in the trailer and youd go "wow!!! they fight giant mosnters!!!" and then there are no giant monsters in the movie -mirabel is a likable protagonist and i like the set up of the movie, but the logic of magic and it's rules arent explained super well. spoilers and i dont think theyve shouldve gotten their powers back in the end, especially as the lesson is 'your value as a person is not your talents' like let them be normal people. -i wish the soundtrack was an inch less Pop Music and an inch more traditional? like i think Coco still stands out as the best of the most recent Disney-Pixar films because it built such a strong world. the idea of exploring this beautiful land of the dead was a perfect setting for an animated movie, and it had a level of grandeur and scale that Soul, Luca, and Encanto just didnt quite have. and the rules and logic of the afterlife felt real and reasonable vs the frustrating plot holes in Soul, no explanation why ppl hate sea monsters in Luca, and Encanto just being like 'the source of the magic is loving your family'. like i didnt really think Encanto had an inciting moment that made the house fall apart. wish it was something like, 'the cracks started after bruno left' or 'the cracks get noticably worse because of 'X'" the magic was just a little too wishywashy, especially for a movie where the plot is UNRAVELLING the MYSTERY of why the magic is the way it is. its like they cared more about keeping things ambigious (is this mirabel's fault :O?) than keeping things logical (it isn't lol( final resultes: 7/10 not as good as coco

[bumbershots]

A CERTAIN ROMANCE

CHAPTER FOUR: SILENCE COMES AND GOES

Author’s note: Hello! We continue with this, I would like to thank everyone once again for all the likes and reblogs the story has gotten so far, couldn’t be happier! Enjoy (:

Story masterlist ** Word count: 2.9K **

It is possible that Harry is ignoring the big elephant in the room, as he spreads some jam in his crumpet, well aware of Fernando and Jack exchanging knowing looks. He takes a bite of the savoury treat and hopes none of them dare to confront him, at the same time he wants to be questioned about why he hasn't called Alma yet.

Harry spent the last two weeks grumpy and frustrated.

He's called his therapist way too many times. He has no idea where he went wrong in his healing process. They were back to square one, whispered his tired heart.

Jack is surprised too, his friend got on so well with Alma at the party and apparently even went the extra mile asking for her number then he spent the following fourteen days acting as if she didn’t exist. Didn't even text her like Gemma suggested. He sips his coffee and sighs for the millionth time that day.

The musician is infuriated at himself and desperate that he wants to have Fernando demand an explanation for his behaviour towards his sister. Harry's not a confrontational guy, but he's going mad. Might be losing it. He wanted to scream at the two men before him that he did plan on calling Alma, but then he got so sad. Now he's afraid it's too late.

"Do you want another one?" Fernando holds the plate with crumpets in front of Harry who takes one more and thanks him before grabbing the jam. "Do you reckon you'll be man enough to call my sister within the next couple of days?" Harry chokes on his food while Jack's laughter booms through their home.

Nobody has ever called him out like that. Harry's still unsure whether to be grateful or scared. Maybe a bit of both he thinks after composing himself again from the fit of coughs, he knows Fernando is still waiting for an answer.

"Is she upset about it?" A hint of relief and pride linger on Harry's voice. Jack shakes his head, knowing that he's avoiding the question. Something he's very good at.

"That's not what I asked." Fernando's clipped tone leaves no room for the musician to beat around the bush anymore.

"I was really nervous about calling her, kept putting it off until days turned into weeks... I'm not sure how to go about it," he plays with his rings and looks away from the inquisitive gaze of his companions.

"How did you get Taylor to go out with you?"

"What?" Harry and Jack ask at the same time.

"You must've asked her I guess," Fernando shrugs. "What is so scary about Alma that puts you off? Are you interested in just a shag and you're worried she'll decline or tell the media about it?" Harry is shaking his head vigorously and the dark haired architect leans a bit closer towards him, "you're so full of sh-”

"Alright let's take a break," Jack's soothing tone brings his house mate back from the rage path he was following. But Harry knew that he was right.

It had been a year already, he moved to a new house, one where his ex never set foot into and still her ghost was everywhere. He has this crazy need to destroy everything that can relate to her. Her favourite cardigan is kept away in a box full of Polaroids and books that are all her.

The real reason why he didn't dare to call Alma is because whatever he felt at the beginning of his previous relationship, or any other one, was at least ten times less intense, than what he was feeling now. Seeing the menace before them, his heart and mind decided to leave him courage-less towards the situation. It's less painful to think what could've been than to know it and see it being taken away from you. Again.

But he deserves to be happy, that's what Gemma reminded him the other day.

"I gotta go," Fernando announces before rising from his seat, walking inside the house and upstairs to his room. Jack tries to tidy up the table a bit, not daring to look at his apparently mute friend. When Fernando comes back down he steps outside to the patio where they had brunch, one last glance to a very ashamed Harry and he sighs. "Brigit's Bakery Classic Afternoon Tea Bus. Alma’s been dying to get tickets but never has the time to actually book it," he explains adjusting his jacket's collar. "It's not too late." With that he turns on his heel and leaves the house.

Harry takes their mugs and places them in the sink, he notices Jack is going around the kitchen putting away the butter and milk in the fridge.

"What are you waiting for Romeo?" The blue eyed man asks, stopping in front of a blushing Harry.

They're both quiet for a minute. Harry's heart is racing and can feel his hands get clammy. He hasn't felt someone's faith in a long time, and he's not sure if he's happy or pressured that Fernando and Jack are pushing him to call Alma, he doesn’t even know if she will give him a chance. Harry's wishing to be the kind of guy to take out his mobile and make the call, maybe even crack a witty joke that will have Alma laughing in that loud way he remembers and not be awkward with asking her out on a date. As if he wasn't completely mortified by being rejected.

Harry was sure he would ruin it, not just the call but the date and everything else that was actually going to happen between them without even trying first.

"Hello?" She answers after the third ring, confused at the unknown number calling her.

"Yeah it's me," Harry nods to Jack who urges him to finish whatever sentence he's trying to form, "I believe I owe you some coffee."

"Harry?" Alma tries to fight back a laugh. A wide smile splitting her face after recognising who is the mystery caller.

"Yes! Sorry I forgot you didn't have my number." Jack is red with second hand embarrassment for his friend and decides to start the dishwasher just to keep his eyes from the train wreck happening in his kitchen. "I'm sorry for not calling sooner."

"You're calling now, 's all that matters... I'd love to get that coffee. Next Thursday works for you?" He nods feverishly and remembers he's on the phone.

"Of course, I'll pick you up at five if that's alright."

"Make it half past five please, that's when my shift ends. I'll text you the address." She throws the latter smoothly as an excuse to initiate conversation until they meet again and Harry is oblivious about it.

"Sure great, perfect I'm... really looking forward to seeing you," he plays with the tea towel on the counter, his back turned to Jack, a million butterflies fluttering in his stomach when he hears the coy chuckle his confession got out of her. "Have a good day, see you later."

"See you later, Harry" Alma's goodbye is full of hope and endearment, just like the one he got before she walked away from him that morning after Freddie’s birthday party.

After ending the call, he mentally scolds himself for dreading it so much. It went so much better than expected, even got a laugh out of her. Perhaps Harry needed to stop making decisions based upon his fears and more taking in consideration the other person. He always thought he knew best, it's what he's been told for so many years and although he needs to be making big choices most of the time, perhaps now he could share that responsibility. Felt dead nice for a change.

"That wasn't so bad." He admits to Jack before drying the now clean dishes with a towel.

"I'm proud of you, now tell me, where are you guys going for that coffee?" Jack's eyes are full of curiosity and excitement, it's impossible for Harry not to feel a chill go down his spine at the prospect of planning the date. He thinks about what Fernando suggested, but it would be too obvious that it wasn't his idea entirely.

Alma deserves something exclusively planned by him.

"Don't know yet, perhaps somewhere nice and quiet" he ponders and his friend agrees.

Last time Harry had a proper first date was about two years ago or so. He cooked aubergine parmigiana following Jamie Oliver's recipe and baked some biscuits for dessert that he enjoyed with his companion overlooking the Pacific Ocean from his home's balcony. Back then it seemed to be the right choice to keep it low-key, a simple dinner at his, no risk at all to be bothered or watched. But Harry knew that at some point it got old, being overly discreet was easily mistaken for being ashamed of the relationship. That kind of thing can do a lot to someone's confidence, little by little until it's all too much to bear.

If he could only learn not to care about the world's prying eyes.

Harry doesn't want to drag anyone into the scrutiny of the media until he knows it's an incorruptible bond. The inevitable thought of forever, something he believes might not exist for him, at times. He did think Taylor was it, even Kendall for a while, which is why he dated more publicly back then, until she came along and the love Harry felt was so grand it made him overly protective of them. Countless times he tried to explain that this was the first time something was working in spite of all the circumstances that came with his life and he was trying to cherish it, keep it to himself. Nurture it until it was as tough as old boots.

That night was spent writing down ideas for that first date. Number one was The river café, near Putney Bridge, a place free of paparazzi. Number two, Rail house café, lovely spot to share dinner. Number three The sanctuary café, located in a beautiful building with a quirky environment. Number four and his personal favourite Lola's bakery, their service was so warm and intimate, he remembers the cinnamon Chelsea bun and his mouth waters instantly. So, drawing a big circle around the fourth option he smiles before going to bed that night.

Saturday morning finds Harry at his grandparents’ old home, carrying a bag full of ingredients for a vegetarian lasagna he is planning to cook for his grandfather and his mum. He immediately banishes Anne from helping in the kitchen. She observed him follow the recipe, cooking for no longer than ten minutes the garlic, thyme and aubergine, and then crumble over the chilli carefully. He lets her grate the Parmesan when the sauce isn’t thickening and reducing like it was supposed to. With a bump of her hip, she nodded towards a couple of tomatoes, Harry smiled before tipping them in, breaking them with a spoon and five minutes later, the sauce was ready.

His mother is a marvellous woman, like the good son he is, Harry doesn't want to make her sad, ever. The last time he visited her, recently broken hearted, they spent it baking, cooking, eating sweets and drinking hot chocolate at the rear terrace. Once he had enough of moping around, he decided to make it up to her and create good memories from that visit. They explored the local parklands as if it was the first time, shared ice cream, got tipsy on cheap red wine and chatted from dusk till dawn.

A few hours later, after eating the delicious meal and tidying up the kitchen afterwards, Harry watches his mum talking to his grandad, holding his shaky hand in hers and caressing it in a soothing way. The elder man’s Parkinson is getting worse with time, he feels so useless, specially because it affects his favourite people. He wants to know what his mother is thinking when she joins him back in the kitchen. There is some anguish dancing in her kind eyes, but Harry knows better than to push her to share something she is not ready to.

"I have a date next Thursday," he chokes out, in hopes of distracting her, and it works. Anne's head whips towards her youngest child, evidently shocked and yet proud. It's been years since Harry shared that kind of information with her.

"A proper date?"

"Yes," he wants to add how nervous it makes him. "I dunno how serious it'll get... just met her once, properly I mean, we saw each other on the tube's carriage three times prior to it. Coincidentally of course, Gem said it is something straight out of a film."

"Who is she?" His mother is giving him that look, the one that says how giddy she is to know absolutely everything about the person that got her son so skittish, that he started to rearrange the containing of the cupboards entirely.

"Her name is Alma," he doesn't know where to start, if he spills all the ways in which he thinks she is wonderful, they'll end up pulling an all-nighter.

"And she's a...?"

"Cashier during the week, Spanish teacher on the weekends and occasional interviewer for her Youtube channel." Anne raises her eyebrows, impressed and wondering why such a busy girl agreed to go on a date. Must like him a lot of course, she thinks watching her son pour hot water on a mug, and dunking a tea bag in it afterwards.

"Where did you meet her if not on the tube?'' She is curious and weary. This wouldn't be the first time her youngest spawn overlooked certain things from strangers. Very little things in Harry's life were coincidences nowadays.

"Remember Jack Robinson?" his mum nodded, how could she forget the cheeky chap that helped Harry escape almost every night from his dad's house in the summer, just to go skate in Southbank's center until midnight. Anne admitted to not liking the bloke for a while, but gave him another chance after watching him grow into a responsible adult. "He's in charge of my home renovation, extension whatever it is called. Invited me to Freddie's birthday party and she was there." The dreamy look on his eyes when reminiscing the moment brought out a wide smile on his mum's face followed by her loud laughter.

"Oh Harry, you've got that look." it was the truth. He looked completely gobsmacked by his mother's reaction, but he couldn’t deny the peace he felt when knowing that she was already fond of the girl that he couldn’t get out of his mind.

"It’s too soon to tell!” He doesn’t want to dive into it, not yet. 

"How did you really meet? I want all the details." Anne asked, taking a seat at the coffee table and Harry told her everything.

From the first glance he stole her way to the last phone call he had yesterday at Jack and Fernando's house, his hands flew several times to tussle his hair and the dimple on his left cheek was exquisite, when telling his mother, how she asked him to dance with her. He spared no detail, from her intoxicating Moschino perfume to her raspy accented voice. By the time he finished, his mum's mug was empty but her heart was full. For so long she wondered if she would ever witness the beauty of Harry in love again and enjoy first-hand the way he spoke about that person in the sweetest manner, the high-pitched tone of his voice when finally admitting how nervous he actually was about this first date.

"Right, well in that case, stop thinking about how everything is going to go wrong." Easier said than done, Harry thinks but nods. "I'm sure whatever you planned will sweep her off her feet." Anne knew how much of a romantic her boy was, he went all out in that department. His best quality and Achilles heel.

"If the cupcakes from that place don't... I could literally do it." Harry plucks a banana from the fruit bowl before them and narrows his eyes when his mum rolls her eyes at him playfully.

His mother's reassurance made him feel less hopeless, the next day when they went to Sheffield's city center, she even picked out a couple of new mugs. 'Just in case we have new visitors at home.' Harry groaned but failed to hide the dreamy look in his eyes, he even crossed his fingers behind his back as he watched her pay for the cups. The thought of Alma meeting his mother in the near future —and the rest of his loved ones— excited him to an unfamiliar degree, like the first time he saw the seaside with his own eyes at a very young age, like that time he sang in front of a considerable amount of people, like a warm hug of his late grandmother. The idea that she may like him enough to agree to a second date is stuck on his brain, despite that they haven't even survived the first one.

Anne saw him enjoy himself the rest of that afternoon and the next morning before he had to go back to London. She sighed and watched him drive away, standing in her front door for a few more minutes, rejoicing on the memory of Harry's toothy grin. Usually she was careful and waiting for the other shoe to drop, but not this time. There was a bit of certainty in the unfamiliar situation, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, she decided to patiently wait and see. She hummed a familiar tune while putting away the new additions to her crockery. The same song her son decided to play on his journey back home.

Qué será, será. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Qué será, será.

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Next chapter

[pikuna]

The Deathclaw Nest

Adventurous short-stories of Sole Survivor Ashley and her Ghoul friend Hancock, how they shoot and flirt their way through the Commonwealth. Contains either things that happened to me In-Game or where I thought that there could be more conversations with Hancock. Mostly Side Quests and pre-relationship.

After a few months I started playing Fallout 4 again and of course this also brought back my muse to write for it. Had the first part of this chapter hand written down for some time and I'm happy to finally type it on the computer. I really love the mission with the friendly Deathclaw, really wished you could pet it or something like that. xD Also little update to Ashley's appearance, since I installed a few mods.

"You are batshit crazy."

"And you are getting more charming with every hour."

Hancock muttered a few more curses under his breath and Ashley ignored them. Since she had told him what she wanted to do with the Deathclaw egg, he had been in a sour mood. They could've brought the egg to Wellingham and pocket some nice caps, but nooo she desperately wanted to bring it back to it's nest. The location of it had also been on the holotape and Hancock could've killed the Gunner for that, if they hadn't been dead already.

They had departed in the morning and where now close to their destination. The Mayor of Goodneighbor still wondered how he could've allowed it to be talked into to this. 

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Hancock dug his heels in and tried to convince Ashley to simply sell the egg, but with not much success.

"I really don't get why the hell you wanna go to that Deathclaw nest. Thought you hate those things!"

"I do! When they are chasing and trying to eat me. But this is different." Frustrating swung in Ashley's voice, since they had been debating this for more than an hour now. "We killed a mother,-" "In self-defense," he chipped in, but she didn't react to it-"but I'm sure there is still some...thing that waits for her to return. And when she doesn't, the least we can do is to return the egg."

Also getting frustrated, Hancock threw his hands up into the air. "Yeah, that might be right. But what do you care?"

There was no answer, at least no verbal one. Instead Ashley looked down at the egg in her arms with a sad determination expression on her face. The same she always had when she thought about her kidnapped son. That realization took the bite out of his next question, even when he still sounded utterly incredulous: "Do you actually compare your own situation to this?"

"No!" she denied immediately, but sighed and corrected herself. "Not really. I know they are just animals and don't feel the same as we do, but still..." Ashley trailed off, not finding the right words to logically justify her cause. Then she looked at him with a steady, but also slight pleading gaze. There was no pouting, fluttering of eyelashes or some other thing woman did to get their ways. And it still made his knees go weak, like whenever she looked at him with her beautiful blue eyes. 

"Don't give me that look," Hancock raised a warning finger at her, but she only blinked puzzled at him.

"What look?"

"Ya know, that one," Hancock tried to explain. Since it wasn't very telling and he didn't want to elaborate it more, he simply turned around with a grumble.

Still confused, but also amused Ashley let out a huff and walked towards him. With the egg still in her arms she leant against Hancock's back, laid her chin on his shoulder and looked to him with a smile.

"Come on Hancock. Please do it for me. I won't be able to sleep peacefully anymore, if we don't return the egg."

He had crossed his arms and slightly glanced sideways to her. It still surprised him so much, how okay she was with being this close to him. The proximity and her smile caused a warm flutter in his stomach that certainly had nothing to do with radiation. Annoyed about his weakness for this woman and her stubbornness he sighed through the remains of his nostrils. Gently he freed his shoulder from her chin, so he could put his arm around hers.

"Okay Scorch, you win. But don't come to me runnin when the Deathclaw isn't so happy about you invading it's home."

With a laugh Ashley bumped her shoulder playfully against his side. 

"Oh, have a bit more faith in me Mr. Mayor. It won't escalate, I'm sure of it."

"From your lips to his ears sister," he mumbled with a chuckle and ruffled her hair.

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It was midday and they were just passing the Parsons Creamery.

Hancock walked a few steps behind Ashley, already scanning the surrounding for any approaching Deathclaw. She on the other side was extremely relaxed and didn't seem to care about the fact they were coming nearer and nearer to the nest of one of the most vicious beasts in the Commonwealth. Heck, she even hummed to the egg while she stroked it's shell. Still it was kinda adorable and so Hancock let out an amused snort that she caught on.

"What?" Ashley asked and looked over her shoulder to him. He just shrugged with one shoulder.

"Just...for someone who insist on being a bad parent you are awfully...motherly to that egg." He had speeded up and now walked besides her, grinning. "Sure you don't want to keep it for yourself?"

At first she had starred at him perplexed, but now scoffed at his last words. "As if you would allow that."

"Ah, but the thought was there, right?" he asked with a smirk and slightly bumped her shoulder. 

"Well, raising your own pet Deathclaw would be pretty cool, don't you think?"

"It would be totally stupid and dangerous. But yeah, also cool."

They laughed and were now ascending a small hill. When they heard a growl they stopped with their bantering and looked around. They didn't spot a Deathclaw immediately, but the growl was there again. She gestured into the direction before them and He nodded. They both started walking crouched down to the top of the hill, Ashley still holding the egg close to her and Hancock having his shotgun at ready. 

Reaching the top of the hill they realized it was actually the edge of a little crater. And down that crater where a bunch of nest and the cause of the growls: A Deathclaw, not a very big one luckily. It circled one of the empty nests, occasionally pawing around it. They observed it for a few minutes, before Ashley beckoned Hancock to slowly following her down.

Of course the Deathclaw noticed them as soon as they reached the ground of the crater, but it didn't charged at them. Instead it waved with his horns and roared, most likely to chase them away. Ashley took it as a good sign that they weren't attacked right away, so she hold the egg up and walked slowly towards the nest the Deathclaw had circled. It had the desired effect that the best calmed down and looked almost curious at her.

"Careful there Ash," Hancock murmured, not aiming with his weapon yet, but already having his finger on the trigger. 

"I am, don't worry," she tried to calm her friend and don't breaking the eye-contact with the Deathclaw. When she reached the nest, she gently laid the egg down and then slowly backed off. The Deathclaw watched her some more moments, before it walked to the egg, nudging it with it's snout several times and then used it's claws to bury it under a pile of dirt.

"Really didn't believed that this would work out," Hancock huffed when Ashley was back at his side. She grinned from one ear to the other, very pleased with herself. He was about to suggest that they should leave now, when Ashley put down her backpack and rummaged through it. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" he hissed irritated. 

"Just want to try something," she answered with almost childlike enthusiasm. Hancock grumbled and looked back to the Deathclaw, which was still occupied with the egg. A triumphal sound made him look back at Ashley, who pulled out a piece of Brahmin meat. Immediately he realized what she wanted to do.

"Oh no," he warned her, but just got a cheeky grin from her.

"Oh yes." Quickly she scrambled away from Hancock, who tried to grab her by the arm.

"Dammit Ash!" he hissed angrily and was about to get after her, when the Deathclaw growled again. All the commotion had gotten it's attention and he was eyeing Ashley again, who walked slowly to it with her arm outstretched and the cooked meat in her hand. The nostrils of the beast flared when it caught on the smell and when she stopped in her advance, it started to walk towards her. 

Hancock's pulse was beating faster than it ever had when he used Jet and he tried to calm himself down. So far the Deathclaw didn't seem to be hostile, but shooting at it with no reason would change that. Regardless if they would walk away unharmed or not, he would haul Ashley over the coals for this. Who would have thought that he, of all people, would be the more responsible one?

The Deathclaw was now standing right in front of Ashley, it's shoulders just reaching her head. Curious it sniffed the meat and without a warning it seized the meat with it's fangs out of her hands. She let out a surprised yelp, but laughed immediately after that. Hancock had sprung up from his crouched position and now aimed at it, but the Deathclaw still didn't attacked, simply chewed at the meat and then raised it's head to swallow it. 

"Good boy~"

Hancock couldn't believe that Ashley was actually cooing. At a Deathclaw! And it even seemed to react to that, for it made a growl that one could mistook for a very...very deep purr and waved with it's tail. She then raised her hand and the Deathclaw lowered his head so she could tenderly pet it's snout. 

I think I got off at the wrong station!, Hancock thought while he lowered the gun and watched how Ashley scratched the Deathclaw here and there and the animal clearly liked it. As surreal as it was, it was also very adorable. 

But the peaceful moment was fleeting, for the Deathclaw seemed to have enough now from being the docile animal. It shook it's head, took a step back and snarled at Ashley, who stumbled surprised backwards. As soon as she was in his reach, Hancock grabbed her upper arm and pulled her further away from the Deathclaw, after he had picked up her backpack. 

"Hope you had your fun," he grumbled, his eyes still on the beast which luckily didn't followed them and occupied itself with the egg again.

"Did you see that Hancock? I petted a Deathclaw!" Ashley laughed breathlessly. 

"Saw it, but still can't believe it." 

Only when they had left the crater and where far enough away from the Deathclaw did Hancock let go of Ashley's arm and shoved the backpack so harshly into her arms that she staggered back a bit.

"What the hell where you thinking? Feeding this thing like it was a stray dog. It could have chewed your arm off!" he snapped at her. 

"But it hasn't," was her only reply, while shouldered the backpack. At least she had the decency to look sheepishly to the ground. 

"Thank the guy above for that! This little stunt of yours could've backfired very badly and then we would've been in trouble. As you can see, I don't have a Minigun with me this time."

Ashley didn't know if this little joke was intended from him or not, but she still had to snort at it. 

"I know. And I'm really sorry. In retrospective this maybe wasn't one of my best ideas."

"Glad we can agree on that," Hancock harrumphed.

"But I only did it, because I knew you would have my back. So I felt safe enough to try."

Hancock narrowed his eyes at this words and her smile. They still made his heart flutter, but he knew her well enough to be wary of her silver tongue. 

"Don't try to soft-soap me, Scorch. I don't appreciate it at the moment."

"Hancock, you know I would never do that with you," she said with acted indignation and then laughed, giving his shoulder a fist bump. "Besides, aren't you the one who always says, that you haven't lived when you haven't risked a bit?"

"Maybe, but I doubt that petting a Deathclaw is worth risking your life," he grunted at that, which made Ashley raise an eyebrow.

"But using dangerous chems is or what?"

"Not anymore."

The answer was out, before Hancock could really think about it. And he meant it. Unlike before he would think twice to take something that could risk is immediate life. Not only because now he had a city to take care of, but also because of Ashley. She surely would come down to hell only to beat the shit out of him just for dying like that.

Ashley became worried by Hancock's sudden silence and the thoughtful look he had on his face, so she stepped closer to him and put two fingers under his chin to make him look at her.

"Tell you what: I will make it up to you for making you worrying so much. Next few rounds of drinks are on me."

At first he blinked confused at her, but then huffed and swatted her fingers away. "I wasn't worried. Would've served you right to loose an arm to a Deathclaw like that." Before she could reply or withdraw her hand, he caught it with his hand and gently squeezed it with a smile of his. "But I surely don't turn down the offer of free booze." 

Ashley chuckled slightly bashful at that and interlocked her fingers with his. "Great. I also will at least try not to do such stupids again. Emphasis on trying."

"Well, it's a start," Hancock chuckled.

Still holding hands they started to be on their way to find the next bar. It had been a long few days.

"Oh and Ash?" he suddenly said. "You wouldn't happen to promise me not to talk with Deacon about this?"

"Sorry Hancock, won't do any promises that I can't keep," she answered with a lopsided smile, which made Hancock sigh. 

"Dammit. As soon as he hears of this he will drag you out here again."

"Well, then you have to have an eye on both of us the next time," Ashley chuckled.

"Great, I am the mayor of Goodneighbor, the toughest settlement in the Commonwealth and I'm designated to be the babysitter of two Deathclaw-fanatics." he grumbled, but with amusement in his voice. She gently petted his arm.

"But for that you are the loveliest babysitter."

He had to bark out a laugh at that. "Hold that silver tongue of yours Ash, you are making me blush."

"Maybe that's what I'm aiming for?" She shot him one of those cheeky grins that just spoke of trouble. Oh and he knew how much trouble this woman meant for him. She would be the death of him one day.